Valentine's prep - part 1

Today is a new day! The sun is shining, children have returned to school, and I am finally getting a little bit of motivation back! It always helps me to get rid of those things that are 'hanging over my head', which for me has been doing our business tax return, which I need to do early in order to have the info we need to file our personal tax return. NOT my idea of a good time...but a necessary evil. Anyway, I got up before 6 a.m. this morning in order to rid myself of this monkey, and was mostly done by about 9 a.m.! (And that includes getting the kids off to school in that same time frame, so I'm pretty pleased with myself! :)

As promised I wanted to start putting out some resources for anyone interested in some fun ideas for Valentine's Day. It is less than 2 weeks away, you know! So...in the spirit of not 'reinventing the wheel' today I'm just going to share some links to some OTHER people's great ideas.

If you're looking for some family relationship builders, you will definitely want to see all Jen's ideas over at Balancing Beauty and Bedlam. Here's the link to her post "Creative, Yet Cheap Valentine Ideas". I'm planning to hit up a few of those myself!

Then there's a seriously good post over at A Holy Experience, entitled "How to Fall in Love Again in 4 Minutes a Day". Reading the first part of the post nearly made me cry, because I could very much identify. The marriage building ideas she offers...all I can say is that it's really, really good stuff, and you should check it out. (*Warning, her blog does have autoplay music, so if you're clicking over there while sitting in a room with a napping baby, you'll want to mute your sound!)

Not a blog, but an entire website of great resources would be RealRelationships, the site of Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot. They are Christian husband-and-wife team who minister to couples through books, seminars, TV and radio shows and more. There's a plethora of information and resources over there. (You liked that word, 'plethora', didn't ya??) ;) Plus, there's nothing more loving than being willing to invest serious time and energy into learning and purposefully building your marriage. The resources found there will help you do just that.

If you are looking to plan a fun date night, you can check out The Discovery Game, or, if you want something more creative (and racy!!) you'll want to check out Simply Romantic Nights (put out by Dennis & Barbara Rainey and FamilyLife).

Of course, as I mentioned before, I can't say enough good things about Mark Gungor and his "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" stuff. I mean, c'mon....who doesn't love to laugh...and sometimes, when it comes to marriage, you've just GOT TO!!!

Speaking of Mark, here's one more fun clip for you. (I love this guy!)

snow day...the never ending saga

I really can't believe we are home bound yet again. Another snow day. Well, really, today is an 'ice day'. Here's some pics out my front door...
Snow days can be fun. A few, here and there, over the course of an entire winter season. But when they come one after the other, they are about as fun as contractions that come in quick succession during the transition phase of labor. Well, that might be an overstatement...but seriously, today I think I've reached my limit. The kids are beginning to bounce off the walls, I'm battling a pretty good case of PMS (complete with fighting random, for-no-good reason tears), and I woke up to find this stain smack in the middle of my living room carpet from doggie puke. Great. (At least she looks sorry.)
I have a few ideas for fun and encouraging posts that I want to do...but at the moment, they're not flowing very well. So for now, I think I'll follow my kids' lead and tuck in to enjoy this...
It never gets old! :)

instinct

Well, as in many places, we are getting another dumping of snow. Normally, I love snow. As long as I don't have to go anywhere, and all my loved ones are tucked in safe and sound at home. I love sitting in my warm, cozy house, watching the beautiful white blanket cover the earth. It warms my heart to see my kids all bundled up and out playing for hours on end (and expending a lot of that pent up winter energy!), building forts and sledding and snowboarding. But today...today is a different story.

Basically, because of the confusing/incorrect weather reports (I know...they can't really know exactly what's gonna happen...they're not God!), schools in our area didn't close, or even delay. It was supposed to be not bad in the morning, and worsen later, and I'm sure their thinking was get the kids here, get a few hours logged, send them home early and call it a day. Except that conditions this morning were much, MUCH worse than I think anyone expected. Buses were running very late just trying to pick up the students in the morning, only to get them to school late, and then be told they would be being sent back home within just 3 hours or less. Bryce just got home and told me one of their buses never even made it to school at all today! I can't imagine the stress level of all those bus drivers today, and my prayers go out for them!! And then, the fact that I'm entrusting my babies to them...well, that earns them extra prayers for sure!

I also have one of those 'invincible' husbands. He should've been a mailman, because "neither snow, nor rain, nor dark of night..." seems to keep him from his job. It's actually quite an admirable trait for a man. The problem lies in the fact that I am a woman, who craves security and protection, and feels very vulnerable in any type of severe weather circumstance! And, though I trust my husband's driving skills and judgment, in almost all other circumstances, I become completely irrational when it comes to snowy and icy conditions. I get very stressed and feel helpless being here myself...if I, heaven forbid, had to get out anywhere, I'd be toast!!

Now, the rational side of my brain knows that all of this panic is completely blown out of proportion, and I'm literally telling myself that, repeatedly, today. Because my hope, my prayer, was that my hubby would hurry home to us in the 'lull' between the two storm fronts that are hitting us today...but when I asked this morning, he said he'd be working a full day. He told me two storms ago that it frustrates him when I nag him about staying home, because he has a job to do, and him doing it affects other people as well. So I'm trying really hard to keep my mouth shut. But sometimes it's really hard being a woman, what with all these protective, motherly instincts raging inside me!!!

How 'bout you? Am I alone in this, or does anyone else freak out when you hear the words "6 inches of snow" and want to gather all your loved ones under one roof???

stomach bugs, car keys and aprons

Since last weekend, our house has been an interesting mix of birthday, holiday, snow days and stomach bugs. Last night I started a post detailing some of the more humorous moments (in hindsight, of course) of the week, but realized it was getting long and wordy, and probably isn't all that funny to anyone else. So, scratch that.

Though, you may get a chuckle from hearing about our adventures yesterday afternoon when I piled all the kids up to make a 'quick trip' to the library, assuring myself that my stomach could handle just a 45 minute round-trip jaunt, only to lock my keys, wallet and cell phone in the van after arriving mere minutes before the library closed, being stranded on the streets of Boyertown for a while (well, just while I made phone calls to arrange our rescue), and then killing time in a teeny, little hometown pharmacy that remains just the way it was when I went there in 5th grade. (I'm pretty sure some of the inventory was still there from that year as well. I haven't seen shoe horns in years!!) All four kids and I hung out, they bought 'penny candy' (which, by the way is now 5 cents a piece) and we read the greeting cards to each other and laughed out loud, passing the time til Todd arrived to unlock the van. (After we bought the candy, I did tell the clerk that I had locked my keys in the van outside and we were waiting for someone to come unlock it, just so he didn't wonder why we made such a measly purchase and continued to hang out for another half hour. Not that we are a particularly sinister looking bunch or anything, but still.)

Anyhoo... what I really wanted to post about was simply what made me smile this week, through all the craziness. It's a completely minor and unimportant (to anyone else) thing, but it just made me feel cozy each time I looked at it. It's the new apron my mama got me for Christmas. I had always sort of scoffed at aprons in my younger years, but with all the cooking I do these days (and all the shirts I've had to pre-spot time and again because of grease splatters) I now see the great value of aprons...AND they make such adorable ones now!! These aren't your grandma's smock-style frocks now!! (Though, I have to say, I have very fond memories of my grandma, mom and aunts decked out in aprons and good smells wafting from the kitchen...and I would love for my kiddos to have such fond memories as well.) So when I got my apron, I wasn't sure where to keep it that it would be easily accessible, but not just tossed somewhere. Then I saw the perfect place...the hook on the bottom of my hanging votive holder. It was just begging to have something hanging from it, and the apron was the perfect thing. And it even matches the red wall behind it and the while hutch beside it. Yep, it's cozy. And it makes me smile. It's the simple things...

winter fun

As I write this post, the boys (and by 'boys' I mean the 3 little ones and the big one!) are all out sledding. It's 7:35 p.m. As in... dark outside. And for two of them, it's the second time today. When the older kids arrived home from school today, they all asked if they could hit the hill for a little while before starting homework. They promised they'd get it done quickly when they came in. I always think physical play is good for them, so I said yes. Kids, in my opinion, do enough sitting in a day, and need all they exercise and energy-release they can get!

I really appreciate how 'into it' Todd gets with them. We only have a small hill, and the snows we've had have been minimal, so they've put a lot of work into keeping it 'sled-able'. One day they actually carted the snow that was left from other parts of the yard to re-cover it. Todd goes out at night and sprays it down with the hose so it will ice over. Tonight he hooked up lights out there so they could see. (Did I mention that this is a fairly little hill just between our house and our neighbor's?) But they love it. And it's free, outdoor fun!

One final thought, that actually is what prompted this post. I just have to say how much I love snow pants. And winter boots. Growing up, I didn't have these things. We used to pile layer upon layer of pants....first tights, then long johns, then sweat pants, then jeans that were sizes too big. And (while some years I did have snow boots) there were a few years that we wore our sneakers with plastic bags over them. Yep...we looked like complete dorks. But dorks with dry feet. However, it took us FOR.EV.ER. to get ready to go play in the snow. Many times, I didn't bother going out because it wasn't worth all the effort it took to get ready. (And as I think back on 3 of us going through this process, I think "My poor mother!!") My kids, with their snow overalls and boots can be ready and out the door in 5 minutes or less. When they come in, their stuff gets hung by the fire or tossed in the dryer and all ready to go again when they're set to hit the 'slope' again a few hours later. I know this is ridiculous, and to most people, probably a 'given.' But thanks to my memories of winter layering, I just really appreciate this 'little thing' in life!

I know one family that will be happy to see a few more inches of the white stuff this week!!

food budgeting

I have not made any "New Year's Resolutions" per se, but I always welcome any opportunity to view something as a fresh start, so I'm trying to adjust my mindset as such as I begin 2011. This won't be a list of my re-starts, but I did want to mention one, because I'd VERY MUCH like you get your feedback.

I am trying, with a new earnestness, to work on viewing homemaking as a serious 'home management' job, because that's really what is required of me in this season for us to make some things work. Quite specifically, we are having to cinch up the budget, and a very major aspect of that is our food spending. So I'd really like to hear from you!! I'm curious to know, how much do you budget/spend on food monthly? Does it include household items, like laundry detergent, toilet paper, etc., or is that amount strictly food items? What other helpful tips might you have on this topic? Help a girl out, here people...speak up!!!! And if you are uncomfortable sharing your budget amount, feel free to comment anonymously, but give me an idea how many people your monthly budget is feeding so I can make a fair comparison. Thanks!!

(As a side-note on the same topic, my friend Ang started a new blog called 365 Days to Simplicity (also linked on my sidebar), journaling her own endeavors to simplify her family life, including weekly meal planning tips and ideas and recipes. She quite a master of this, and I highly recommend you use her as a resource!! I am. But I have to admit and tell you up front...she really likes to cook (I don't!!) and is willing to (and good at) trying new and difficult recipes. So following her is a duel-edged sword for me personally...I'm inspired and feel like an utter failure all at the same time! But I'm pressing in and trying to remain teachable, as this is an area I'd really like to grow in. So, why don't you join us?!?)

thinking long-term

Last night we had to have one of those parent/teenager talks with our lovely daughter. Now, don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining or saying anything negative toward her. She's an awesome kid, but suffice it to say, she doesn't love school. Let me clarify...she loves SOME aspects of school...like socializing, extra-curriculars like dramas and musicals, socializing, choir, socializing and civics class. Aside from that, the rest of it is sort of a thorn in her side, so to speak. I feel comfortable sharing this, because I believe that she would openly and completely agree. And, my point really isn't having to do with her, so much as something Todd said that really impressed me and I keep thinking about it. We were telling her the importance of working hard in school now, even though she doesn't like it. Todd's wise words to her were that she needs to work hard now, for a relatively short time (high school) at something she doesn't enjoy, so that she can get to a point where she can train or prepare or choose to do something she does like, for the long haul. If she chooses to slack off now, and not put in the time and effort, she will very likely end up in a dead-end job, and being forced to do something she doesn't like for a much longer time than just a few years. I thought that was very insightful, and a good way to explain it to a teenager. His follow up words to her almost made the 'mommy' side of me choke though...he said "Kate, you're 14. That's only 4 years til 18, at which time you WILL be going to college or getting a job and preparing to go out on your own...it's time to grow up."

(Ahhh....4 years?!?! That's crazy! How did that happen??)

In any case, I thought the part about choosing to do the tough thing for the short term for long term benefits is so true in many, many areas of life, and just have been pondering that this morning. It rings true with everything from budgeting to disciplining kids. From physical training to cleaning the house! Not every part of what we do in life is 'fun'. But pressing in through the tough stuff almost always produces good results in the end!

embracing the season

No, this isn't another post about Christmas. That's not the season I mean. This morning I was thinking about life seasons, and just wanted to encourage any overtired, sleep deprived, under-appreciated mommies out there, that seasons of life do change, and things will get better. I know this to be true, because for the first time ever I am done my Christmas shopping 10 days before Christmas (because I could go out all alone, in advance and do shopping by myself!), and this morning I put all my kiddies on the bus and took a candle-lit, peppermint bubble bath! It was totally quiet, and I just soaked in the peacefulness. And I just wanted to tell you, it can happen. You will get there, eventually! Now, mind you, it took me 14 years to get here, but it was a season. Now the season is changing, and I'm becoming somewhat sane again!! (As much as my genetics allow anyway... LOL). But I'm convinced that there is true joy in just embracing every season we are in and appreciating all we can.

Now, in case you think it's all rosy...that's definitely not what I'm saying. My struggles are just different now. First of all, I had to go through accepting this change, and I will admit, it was no easy thing. As I've shared before, I had to go through a period of 'mourning' the fact that I was no longer going to experience the thrill of pregnancy and giving birth, nursing, or people ooh-ing and ahh-ing over my adorable little bundle. No more cutesy baby clothes. Now I have big kids, and we deal with lost homework and skinned knees and torn jeans (constantly!), battle over grades and TV time and responsibility, and occasionally a experience full-blown teen meltdown. But hey, I get to sleep at night, and I don't wipe any butts, and they can tell me when they want/need something...and they actually can help with some housework! So it's a fair trade, I think!

And speaking of seasons...there's also the fact of just simply accepting my age...which isn't old (by any means, I know!), but when the majority of your friends are younger and thinner and pretty...well, I'm just being real. It's something I have to accept. I'm not getting younger. And I want to accept that gracefully and fully live in and appreciate where I am and where I am going. I want to be comfortable with myself and not afraid to move on. (Thankfully, I have some great role models who I can look to and follow after in this!)

But I will say, it's also a bit scary. Next year all my kids will be in school all day, and we have to really need to decide by next month if we can keep Kate in Christian school. Which could mean me having to get a job. I already feel like I have a job (multiple ones!), but since they don't actually pay...well, you know what I'm saying. In my dreaming of being a 'grown up', I never dreamed past having babies and being a stay-at-home mommy. But here I am. So I have to just embrace whatever it turns out to be. Otherwise I will be a miserable wretch who either stays stuck, or only lives in the past...neither of which are pretty.

So anyway, I guess I got a little off-track. Sorry. All that to say, hang in there. Enjoy the coos and giggles and snuggles because there's always some level of wonderfulness for every frustration in each season of life. And in the end, the good far outweighs the bad. And in a few years, you'll even be able to take a bubble bath in peace (though you might have to book a time slot in advance to get into the bathroom to do it!! ) :)

no obligation

I think I'm realizing more this year how much pressure I...and probably lots of other people...put on ourselves at Christmas time. We think we have to do things....well, just because. Because it's Christmas and that's what. we. do. Why do I feel the obligation to bake Christmas cookies? Because it's what ya do! Why do I feel like I should come up with something cute and meaningful and creative for the kids' teachers gifts? Because it's what ya do! Why do I feel terrible about not sending Christmas cards this year? Because it's what ya do!

Well, I'm trying to break out of that box.

I have no intentions of making cookies from scratch this year. I got Betty Crocker mixes that you just add eggs and butter to. It'll save a lot of mess, frustration, and my family will gobble them up just the same. I'm still debating about the teacher gifts. "Gifts" is one of my love languages, so unless a gift card carries some significance, I hate giving them (or worse yet, cash!). I want there to be a reason why I gave what I gave. Because it came from the heart! For example, Luke wants to give his teacher a gift card for Dunkin' Donuts...because she gets coffee there every morning. (It's just down the road from the school). So I think that's a perfect choice because it was for a reason! (By the way, he picks gifts with his heart like I do...and I love it! He's so fun to shop with!) I've been thinking...."Oh, I could make them this, and this, and Oh! What teacher wouldn't love this?!?!" Then I say to myself..."Slow down, girl! Simple...remember!" And then it's almost like a big sigh of relief to think..."Yeah, I can do something super-simple and they'll still appreciate it", because this obsession to find the perfect thing is really in MY mind...and not theirs! I'm quite sure the kids' teachers are not thinking "Well, I'm SO not going to be impressed if I don't get something homemade from those Clemmer kids!!" I need to grow past my insecurities...and life will probably be much more enjoyable for everyone! :)

So, in the next few days I may still try to whip up some Honey Cinnamon Butter, and make some peppermint bark....but only because I want to. Not because I have to. And I can, because my Christmas shopping is done way early for me! (I don't usually finish til about the day before Christmas, so being done makes me feel like Christmas should be tomorrow! Another whole week plus to go yet?!?! Ah...I can barely stand the wait now!)

Here's to simplicity and the release from obligation!!