Thursday, December 16, 2010

embracing the season

No, this isn't another post about Christmas. That's not the season I mean. This morning I was thinking about life seasons, and just wanted to encourage any overtired, sleep deprived, under-appreciated mommies out there, that seasons of life do change, and things will get better. I know this to be true, because for the first time ever I am done my Christmas shopping 10 days before Christmas (because I could go out all alone, in advance and do shopping by myself!), and this morning I put all my kiddies on the bus and took a candle-lit, peppermint bubble bath! It was totally quiet, and I just soaked in the peacefulness. And I just wanted to tell you, it can happen. You will get there, eventually! Now, mind you, it took me 14 years to get here, but it was a season. Now the season is changing, and I'm becoming somewhat sane again!! (As much as my genetics allow anyway... LOL). But I'm convinced that there is true joy in just embracing every season we are in and appreciating all we can.

Now, in case you think it's all rosy...that's definitely not what I'm saying. My struggles are just different now. First of all, I had to go through accepting this change, and I will admit, it was no easy thing. As I've shared before, I had to go through a period of 'mourning' the fact that I was no longer going to experience the thrill of pregnancy and giving birth, nursing, or people ooh-ing and ahh-ing over my adorable little bundle. No more cutesy baby clothes. Now I have big kids, and we deal with lost homework and skinned knees and torn jeans (constantly!), battle over grades and TV time and responsibility, and occasionally a experience full-blown teen meltdown. But hey, I get to sleep at night, and I don't wipe any butts, and they can tell me when they want/need something...and they actually can help with some housework! So it's a fair trade, I think!

And speaking of seasons...there's also the fact of just simply accepting my age...which isn't old (by any means, I know!), but when the majority of your friends are younger and thinner and pretty...well, I'm just being real. It's something I have to accept. I'm not getting younger. And I want to accept that gracefully and fully live in and appreciate where I am and where I am going. I want to be comfortable with myself and not afraid to move on. (Thankfully, I have some great role models who I can look to and follow after in this!)

But I will say, it's also a bit scary. Next year all my kids will be in school all day, and we have to really need to decide by next month if we can keep Kate in Christian school. Which could mean me having to get a job. I already feel like I have a job (multiple ones!), but since they don't actually pay...well, you know what I'm saying. In my dreaming of being a 'grown up', I never dreamed past having babies and being a stay-at-home mommy. But here I am. So I have to just embrace whatever it turns out to be. Otherwise I will be a miserable wretch who either stays stuck, or only lives in the past...neither of which are pretty.

So anyway, I guess I got a little off-track. Sorry. All that to say, hang in there. Enjoy the coos and giggles and snuggles because there's always some level of wonderfulness for every frustration in each season of life. And in the end, the good far outweighs the bad. And in a few years, you'll even be able to take a bubble bath in peace (though you might have to book a time slot in advance to get into the bathroom to do it!! ) :)

4 comments:

Julie said...

Thanks for the reminder! I am going backwards, though. I have the freedom of no diaper bags, not wiping butts, sleeping through the night (not so much right now, though) and am very quickly going back to that! I am looking forward to the kids being in school all day, though. (Did I mention that this is our last year with PAVCS???)

Jessi said...

Julie, it will be interesting with going 'back'...maybe you'll have a different perspective, and enjoy all of it even MORE this time around! And I didn't realize this was your last year with PAVCS! Where will the kids be going next year?

Jen (emeraldsunshine.org) said...

Thank you... I will hang in there. That peppermint bath sounds AMAZING.

Holly said...

Great reminder Cuz! Thank you so much for the encouragement and the reminder to love each stage! Wish we were closer so we could "grow older" together and get together for tea and all that kinda stuff like our mom's did when we were young! I'll settle for thinking about you and reading your blog while I drink my afternoon tea!