Happy Mother's Day

Hope all you moms out there are having a wonderful Mother's Day. I am. My family gave me my favorite Phillies jersey (love those pinstripes!), took me out for dinner last night (because the actual day is always too busy), gave me an assortment of homemade gifts, and generally are trying to get along to give me a nice, peaceful day. They also agreed to all wear Phillies gear today, just for me. :)

Did you ever wonder how Mother's Day came about? Well, there's lots of ways mothers have been honored throughout the ages, but here's how it became an official U. S. holiday (from Wikipedia):

The first attempts to establish a "Mother's Day" in the U.S. were mostly marked by women's peace groups. A common early activity was the meeting of groups of mothers whose sons had fought or died on opposite sides of the American Civil War. There were several limited observances in the 1870s and the 1880s but none achieved resonance beyond the local level.

In 1868 Ann Jarvis created a committee to establish a "Mother's Friendship Day" whose purpose was "to reunite families that had been divided during the Civil War", and she wanted to expand it into an annual memorial for mothers, but she died in 1905 before the celebration became popular.  Her daughter Anna Jarvis would continue her mother's efforts.

In New York City, Julia Ward Howe led a "Mother's Day" anti-war observance on June 2, 1872, which was accompanied by a Mother's Day Proclamation. The observance continued in Boston for about 10 years under Howe's personal sponsorship, then died out.

Several years later a Mother's Day observance on May 13, 1877 was held in Albion, Michigan over a dispute related to the temperance movement. According to local legend, Albion pioneer Juliet Calhoun Blakeley stepped up to complete the sermon of the Rev. Myron Daughterty who was distraught because an anti-temperance group had forced his son and two other temperance advocates to spend the night in a saloon and become publicly drunk. From the pulpit Blakeley called on other mothers to join her. Blakeley's two sons, both traveling salesmen, were so moved that they vowed to return each year to pay tribute to her and embarked on a campaign to urge their business contacts to do likewise. At their urging, in the early 1880s, the Methodist Episcopal Church in Albion set aside the second Sunday in May to recognize the special contributions of mothers.

Frank E. Hering, President of the Fraternal Order of Eagles, made the first known public plea for "a national day to honor our mothers" in 1904.

In its present form, Mother's Day was established by Anna Marie Jarvis, with the help of Philadelphia merchant John Wanamaker following the death of her mother Ann Jarvis on May 9, 1905. A small service was held on May 12, 1907 in the Andrew's Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia where Anna's mother had been teaching Sunday school. But the first "official" service was on May 10, 1908 in the same church, accompanied by a larger ceremony in the Wanamaker Auditorium in the Wanamaker's store on Philadelphia. She then campaigned to establish Mother's Day first as a U.S. national holiday and then later as an international holiday.

The holiday was declared officially by the state of West Virginia in 1910, and the rest of states followed quickly. On May 8, 1914, the U.S. Congress passed a law designating the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day and requesting a proclamation. On May 9, 1914 President Woodrow Wilson issued a proclamation declaring the first national Mother's Day as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war.

In 1934, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt approved a stamp commemorating the holiday.

In May 2008 the U.S. House of Representatives voted twice on a resolution commemorating Mother's Day, the first one being unanimous (with 21 members not voting). The Grafton's church, where the first celebration was held, is now the International Mother's Day Shrine and is a National Historic Landmark.

Interesting, huh?  Happy Mother's Day!

menus

One of the biggest changes that I've tried to make in regards to living intentionally is meal planning.  Cooking is not a favorite activity of mine.  Eating, yes.  Cooking, no.  However, I'm a mom, and it's a fact of life. The children around here seem to expect to be fed every.single.day!!  And it seems like 5 p.m. always just sneaks up on you out of nowhere.  Kids start whining, hubby calls to say he's on his way home, and my own stomach begins complaining, which usually makes me cranky.  And when it gets to that point, it's often too late.  If there's no plan in place, we're in bad shape.  That's when I hear the evil little voice saying, "Just order pizza...it's quicker, and easier..." or "Don't you have some Wendy's coupons laying around?  You wouldn't want them to expire..."  So, I have to be vigilant to keep that nasty little side of me at bay, and the best weapon against myself is...a menu.

Yes, it helps immensely to know by lunch time what I am making for dinner that night.  And usually, I don't really feel like thinking about it AT lunch time, because by then I'm engrossed in anywhere from 1-5 different things, and at that point, dinner time seems so far away.  So, in order to stay on top of things, I usually need to plan out a weekly menu on Monday so I have a rough plan set it place, and can merely pull something out of the freezer in the morning (if need be) and have an idea what time I need to start making the food, depending on what my menu says we'll be eating that night.  I do like to stay flexible, and often only end up actually making 5 or so of the meals I plan, often because by mid-week we have leftovers, so we'll have a mish-mosh of reheated stuff.  But in the event that there aren't leftovers, I have a plan.  Better to be safe than spending sorry, I always like to say!  ;)

Now, in order for me to stick with something with any regularity at all (and believe me, I fall off this menu-planning wagon at least one week out of every month) it has to be fun.  And, in general, (what with my lack of enjoyment of cooking and all) this whole process isn't exactly my idea of 'fun'.  So I sort of trick myself into making it about decorating.  I made a really cute menu board (it was the top piece of a bar stool that I found for about a buck at Goodwill that I spray painted with Chalkboard paint) that I can write on with chalk markers (found at Michael's) and wipe off each week to display my new menu.  Besides looking really cute (in my humble opinion) hanging in my kitchen, it also has an added bonus.  I've noticed that the kids check it each day, almost as soon as they get home from school.  Sometimes I get to hear a "Yes!", but at least half the time my dinner choice only musters an "oh.".  That's okay; I no longer plan meals around the picky eaters in my family.  (And seeing it there in black and white gives them time to mentally prepare themselves and accept what's coming!)  They're all finally old enough to just eat what's put in front of them without a fight.  (Hallelujah, and thank you, Jesus!  THAT, my friends, has been years in coming.)  You'll notice along the bottom of my menu board is also a gentle reminder (which I stole from Madame Blueberry of Veggie Tales 'Stuff-Mart' fame) "A thankful heart is a happy heart."

I'm still playing around with a few online meal planners with built in 'recipe books' and grocery list makers.  I'll let you know in another post my thoughts on them.  I'll leave you with a peek at what the Clemmers are eating this week.

♪ love the ones you're with...♫

Being intentional with cultivating family relationships can be something that can be easily overlooked - at least in our house - in the busyness of life.  This week I took advantage of Valentine's Day as an opportunity to make a specific effort for our family to practice encouraging one another.  A week before Valentine's, I printed off a sheet like this - one for each member of our family, including Todd & I. 


I fold them up and placed them in the centerpiece I had on the table and at some point, each person grabbed one, (without peeking whose name they had drawn!).  They had til dinner time on Valentine's to fill out their list.  Then, after dinner we took turns, each person reading what they had written to the person whom it was about.  It was a precious time, and with the exception of a few chuckles here and there, each person took it seriously and was completely sincere in the things they wrote and shared.  (Of course, I, as Mom, fought from tearing up the entire time!)  We heard things like:

"I love that you slept in the tent in our room with me" (Luke to Seth),
"I love that you have a strong will to do right and take a stand" (Todd to Bryce),
"I love that you keep me from being lonely" (Seth to Luke),
"I love your weirdness/strangeness" (Kate to Todd - and she really meant it!),
"I love that you're a girl pastor" (Bryce to me), and
"I love seeing you worship and your growing relationship with God" (me to Kate)

Our family can tend to be very loud and harsh and not always exactly loving toward each other.  I know...this shocks you, right?  Ha.  Well, yeah...*ahem*...it's definitely one of those things we need to really work on, and this was at least a step in the right direction.  The other week I was amazed to see compassion flow freely from one of my boys for someone.  I was sort of surprised, and thought, "Why doesn't he act that way with his family??"  (Well, for one thing, probably because we as parents don't exactly do a stellar job modeling it, that's why!)  But rather than nag or bemoan the negative side of things, I thought, we just need to start making a point of being encouraging to one another! 

We had done something similar on Luke's birthday last month and I decided it needed to become a tradition.  At dinner I had everyone go around the table and each compliment Luke on something.  It was the first time we'd done this, and one of the other kids said "Hey, are we gonna do this for me on MY birthday??"  It was a good reminder how much we all crave affirmation, and how easy it can be to use special occasions to be intentional about giving it.  And it stirs appreciation within ourselves for one another!  So yes, we are adding it to the Clemmer Arsenal of Family Traditions!

Why not try thinking of one way you can encourage a family member today! 
 

planning

This week I'm scurrying around pulling together all the details for a marriage retreat we are doing this weekend...and I'm so excited!! I love planning fun things, especially fun things for married couples. We learned the hard way how vitally important it is to keep your marriage healthy by just having time together to connect and have fun and enjoy each other so I love having a chance to sow into other marriages and encourage couples to keep love alive!

We didn't specifically plan to hold the retreat so close to Valentine's Day, but the timing just worked out well. I know some of you hate Valentine's because of built up expectations (and the subsequent disappointment) but I always welcome it as an opportunity to make sure that I express love, for my hubby and my kiddos. Since I've change my point of view from looking/hoping/wanting some big romantic gesture to one of embracing an opportunity to make a big deal about those I love the most.

So, get your thinking caps on...whether it's a spouse, your kids, nieces and nephews or grandkids...don't miss an opportunity to do something special to say "Hey...I LOVE YOU!!!!" :0)

Next week I'll give you a few Valentine ideas, but I don't want to blow any of our retreat moments and spoil the fun for some of the ladies who are going (and I know will be reading this).

And now...I need to switch gears in my brain, because I was planning to do all the food shopping for the retreat tomorrow, and cooking on Thursday (we leave on Friday)...but it looks like we're gonna get another snow dump over the next two days and I won't be going anywhere!!

winter fun

As I write this post, the boys (and by 'boys' I mean the 3 little ones and the big one!) are all out sledding. It's 7:35 p.m. As in... dark outside. And for two of them, it's the second time today. When the older kids arrived home from school today, they all asked if they could hit the hill for a little while before starting homework. They promised they'd get it done quickly when they came in. I always think physical play is good for them, so I said yes. Kids, in my opinion, do enough sitting in a day, and need all they exercise and energy-release they can get!

I really appreciate how 'into it' Todd gets with them. We only have a small hill, and the snows we've had have been minimal, so they've put a lot of work into keeping it 'sled-able'. One day they actually carted the snow that was left from other parts of the yard to re-cover it. Todd goes out at night and sprays it down with the hose so it will ice over. Tonight he hooked up lights out there so they could see. (Did I mention that this is a fairly little hill just between our house and our neighbor's?) But they love it. And it's free, outdoor fun!

One final thought, that actually is what prompted this post. I just have to say how much I love snow pants. And winter boots. Growing up, I didn't have these things. We used to pile layer upon layer of pants....first tights, then long johns, then sweat pants, then jeans that were sizes too big. And (while some years I did have snow boots) there were a few years that we wore our sneakers with plastic bags over them. Yep...we looked like complete dorks. But dorks with dry feet. However, it took us FOR.EV.ER. to get ready to go play in the snow. Many times, I didn't bother going out because it wasn't worth all the effort it took to get ready. (And as I think back on 3 of us going through this process, I think "My poor mother!!") My kids, with their snow overalls and boots can be ready and out the door in 5 minutes or less. When they come in, their stuff gets hung by the fire or tossed in the dryer and all ready to go again when they're set to hit the 'slope' again a few hours later. I know this is ridiculous, and to most people, probably a 'given.' But thanks to my memories of winter layering, I just really appreciate this 'little thing' in life!

I know one family that will be happy to see a few more inches of the white stuff this week!!

food budgeting

I have not made any "New Year's Resolutions" per se, but I always welcome any opportunity to view something as a fresh start, so I'm trying to adjust my mindset as such as I begin 2011. This won't be a list of my re-starts, but I did want to mention one, because I'd VERY MUCH like you get your feedback.

I am trying, with a new earnestness, to work on viewing homemaking as a serious 'home management' job, because that's really what is required of me in this season for us to make some things work. Quite specifically, we are having to cinch up the budget, and a very major aspect of that is our food spending. So I'd really like to hear from you!! I'm curious to know, how much do you budget/spend on food monthly? Does it include household items, like laundry detergent, toilet paper, etc., or is that amount strictly food items? What other helpful tips might you have on this topic? Help a girl out, here people...speak up!!!! And if you are uncomfortable sharing your budget amount, feel free to comment anonymously, but give me an idea how many people your monthly budget is feeding so I can make a fair comparison. Thanks!!

(As a side-note on the same topic, my friend Ang started a new blog called 365 Days to Simplicity (also linked on my sidebar), journaling her own endeavors to simplify her family life, including weekly meal planning tips and ideas and recipes. She quite a master of this, and I highly recommend you use her as a resource!! I am. But I have to admit and tell you up front...she really likes to cook (I don't!!) and is willing to (and good at) trying new and difficult recipes. So following her is a duel-edged sword for me personally...I'm inspired and feel like an utter failure all at the same time! But I'm pressing in and trying to remain teachable, as this is an area I'd really like to grow in. So, why don't you join us?!?)

together

This year I decided to do a 'family gift' of a few items that the kids opened together and was for everyone to share. I am wanting to actively promote the idea of doing things together as a family, but it can be tricky when your kids age range spans almost 10 years. So, I tried to come up with things that everyone could participate in. The gift contained three games...Jenga, Blokus, Apples to Apples and a complete season of the show 'The Waltons', which our family has been watching together at least once a week, (since there is almost nothing on TV today that I'm comfortable with each family member seeing).

I was particularly excited about the 'Apples to Apples' game in our family gift because it's something that all of us can play together, all at one time. It's a game we'd played before, but had a bit of difficulty 'meeting in the middle' so to speak on whether to play the adult version (because there were some 'inappropriate' words/topics) but a few of our kids felt the kid version was too 'baby-ish'. So I was really excited to see the 'family version' in stores around Christmas. It has a variety of topics and words, and plenty that are geared toward teens and 'tweens.

If you've never played the game, here's how it works, in a nutshell. Each player takes a turn being the 'judge'; they draw a card that gives a word such as 'happy'. Then the rest of the players submit a card with a word they think the judge will associate with 'happy'. Now, here's the tricky part....it's actually more about knowing and interpreting the judge rather than words that make sense. (As you can imagine, this drives an analytical person like Todd absolutle nuts!!) Because everyone has a random variety of words (5 words in each player's hand)...everything from snakes, to coffee, to Hannah Montana there may or may not be an option that makes any sense at all. It's a great game for families to play together, in my opinion, because it causes you to try to think about and connect with the other players more than the actual game itself. And, people of varying ages can play together (though, younger players will need help with reading their cards...but it's totally do-able!).

A funny story came from our one game last week. It was Luke's turn to be the 'judge'. His word was "painful". So we all had to submit words that he would associate with "painful". I looked at my hand and knew I was a shoe-in to win this round. The other words that were submitted were some things like 'blister', 'fire' and 'rock'...but my little gem was (*drumroll*) "taking a bath"!! Oh yeah...that five-year-old, rough-and-tumble boy didn't hesitate one second when we read him his choices. Over a blister, over being burned with fire (as his brother tried to argue him into agreeing would be much worse)...the choice of a terribly painful experience for this guy...bathtime. Oh yeah...Mama won hands-down!! :)

I'm really enjoying the fact that my kids are getting to ages where we can all play a game together. For a really long time, it seemed to only activity we could all agree on was a movie. And while I will admit, it's still a faithful stand-by, I'm relieved that we are moving on and able to enjoy other activities together. If you are looking for some 'less-painful' games to share with younger kiddos, that adults or older kids don't feel tortured to play, there are a few options...though you'll have to be willing to help out the youngers (and fair enough not to use against them the fact that you're seeing their cards or helping them make strategy choices!). We've found Apples to Apples (obviously) to be a great option. This year we also added Jenga and Blokus to our game collection. And Scrabble too, though, obviously there will need to be the ability to spell, so that does still leave out the very young ones. Sequence Jr. isn't too bad to play with little kids...I'd definitely take it over 'Candy Land' or 'Chutes and Ladders' and day! And with some help (maybe playing 'partners') even Yahtzee can be done. And there's always great card games like Uno, or even 'War', which all you need is a plain old pack of cards for kids that know theirs numbers through 10.

And even though we are trying to move away from so much 'screen' involvement in our activities, I would say that I do feel better about letting them play video games when it's several of them playing together. To this end, we've invested in a few extra Wii remotes, and one of the kids got Mario Kart for Christmas this year, so at least they are having fun together, as opposed to each one off, glued to their own little digital world. And I have to say...I kind of think Dad might be enjoying this one most of all!!

Oh, and one final word that can promote togetherness in a whole different way...Nerf Guns. But that's another post entirely. ;)

(Here's a shot of the fam playing Apples, and Maggie thinking, as always that she's one of us...)

Christmas vacation

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. We most certainly did...only a few tinges of meltdown here and there, and basically no 'drama' of any kind, and everyone liked their gifts and for the most part remembered their manners. I consider that successful! :)

But seriously...I have felt truly and abundantly blessed these last few days. From the pure thrill I got from seeing my kids over-the-top excited about the gifts they got (and especially because they weren't 'big ticket' items like I know their friends are getting) to the satisfaction of just getting to spend relaxing time with family, I would say this just may be one of my best Christmases. I don't know if I say that every year (maybe I do) but I am just really, really happy. I'm doubly blessed that Todd has off this week, and we are getting to spend lots of fun family time together. I love when we can hang out and I don't have to nag anyone to do homework or chores or projects (and believe me, that one's hard for me....to me, everyone home just screams "project time!!"). This week my mindset is just putting all the normal 'stuff' on hold and just have fun and be together. We got a few new games, and already we've played all of them at least once. We got a new season of 'The Waltons' and we've already watched several episodes. AND we got snow...enough that the kids were out twice yesterday, and anxiously awaiting Dad returning (from breakfast with a friend) this morning to hit their sledding trail again. Imagine...the kids ALL playing together! Who woulda thunk it?!?! It does a heart good! ;)

And last night we did our annual 'Clemmer-family-sleep-around-the-tree' night. Yep, we all drag out sleeping bags and blankets and pillows and stuffed animals and sprawl all over the living room floor (we don't actually fit around the tree anymore). We played 'Apples to Apples', then Kate made some fresh baked sugar cookies and we watched The Waltons. Together. Snuggled up on the floor...Maggie and all. We've done this every year, actually since before the kids were born. Todd and I started it when we were young newlyweds and I thought the glow from the tree lights was soooo romantic. I wouldn't exactly say it's romantic anymore, but it's a firm family tradition that the kids all look forward to with great anticipation. And I love that...even if my back doesn't after waking up from a full night on the floor.

So, if I don't get around to posting any more this week, it's probably because I'm eating peppermint bark and sipping Dunkin' Donuts coffee and losing myself in the new Dekker novel I'm reading, or playing Mario Kart or watching a movie or playing Blokus or something like that. Or having a much overdue date with my hubby. I know my happy little Christmas bubble will be bursting all too soon, so I'm gonna soak it all up while I can!

Happy rest of the holidays to you all! (Don't get bent out of shape because I said 'happy holidays'...Christmas is over, so at this point, I think it simply makes more sense!) :)

don't actually hurt me...

Something has been rattling around in my head for several days now. I thought a couple of times about posting it, but it seemed like maybe it was a bit of a 'downer' so I thought, "eh...not something to blog about...". But I just keep running into the concept seemingly at every turn, so I'm just gonna say it. If it seems like a bummer post, forgive me and move on. But maybe it will challenge you, which I do hope.

It all started the other day when the boys were sword fighting. Luke, my youngest, bravely declared to his brother "I will fight you to the death!" (Yeah, he's 5...should I be concerned about the level of violence in their fighting? I think no...it's more about valiance and bravery actually - things I want them to learn...) Anyway, not 30 seconds later, his brother apparently got a good shot in and he whined "Owwww....don't actually hurt me!!" For some reason, I immediately thought about how much that reminds me of Christians - and namely myself. We talk really big sometimes - nobly declaring our love for God and how we will stand no matter what comes...but somehow I think we are thinking on some massive scale reminiscent of Hitler's atrocities - which in all honesty we have absolutely no grasp on. We can't even really fathom the kind of persecution other Christians around the world face; it's something that American's, for the most part, just don't wrap their minds around. I'm not saying, by any means, that it's not something we won't ever experience. But as of now, we really have no concept. But we sure do have lofty ideas of how we would faithfully endure. And yet...

And yet...the smallest trials crop up in our life and how do we respond? Well, at least for me, I tend to whine and complain and crumple. I bemoan the situation to anyone who will tolerate my tale of woe. And I half-way pray and ask God to 'fix it!!' for me. What happened to that passionate resolve to endure now?? It's just like Luke... "I'll fight to the death...but don't ACTUALLY hurt me...".

After several other random things that cropped up this week to challenge me with this concept, today was just like a 2X4 to the head. I receive a daily email devotional and guess what today's was...the title - "How God Uses Pain". (Uh, hellooooo??? Yes, God, hearing you...loud and clear!) This was the first paragraph:

God will use pain in order to create a love relationship with His creation. This statement may challenge your theology. However, consider that God allowed Jesus to experience incredible pain in order to create an opportunity to have a relationship with His creation. Consider how Jesus created a relationship with Paul. He blinded him and used a crisis in his life in order to bring him into a relationship with him and use him for God's purposes. Consider how God recruited Jonah for the mission He had for him.

So...okay, okay. I may be thick, but I think I'm getting it. Don't get me wrong...I don't have a perspective of an angry God sitting and just waiting to whack me with something, or getting ticked that I am a whiney-baby who just doesn't 'get it'. No, I think he's a Good Father, who, like I often do with my boys, sometimes chooses to hang back a bit and lets some things take their course, knowing full well that doing so might bring some short-term conflict, discomfort, yes - even pain - but will help them (me) learn an invaluable lesson and build character. Oh, yes...He's a very Good Father that way.

And so, I'm learning. And wondering a bit why God is bringing this so clearly to my mind...because I don't necessarily have any big 'pain' situations going on right now. I will say this...I'm humbled and aware and asking God to help me 'get' things without having to experience the pain if at all possible. ('Cause, yeah...I'm a baby that way!) But if not, I'm asking him to just bring this week back to my mind and give me the grace to say "Your grace is sufficient...".