give to Caesar...

I read a very interesting article yesterday that has gotten me thinking, and just keeps bouncing around in my mind ever since. The article talked about 2 things that struck me. The first was on a personal level; it talked about the verse in Mark 12:17 that talks about paying taxes. It says "give to Caesar what is Caesar's and give to God what is God's". That got me thinking about this: if we truly believe that everything - all our money - is actually God's, and we are just stewards of what He gives us, how could we question or ponder whether or not we should pay taxes? Or tithe for that matter? If a person handed me $100 and said "I want you to give $10 to so-and-so, and another $10 to such-and-such, and the rest you can decide what to do with," would I be so arrogant as to take it home and ponder whether or not I should give those 2 amounts? Of course not! It's not my money, I'd do with it what that person said, and you can believe that if I knew I was going to give account of what I did with the rest, I'd do my best to use it wisely. Personally, tithing and taxes aren't something I've struggled with, it's always been a given that I just did without much thought, but I know many people who struggle greatly with it. On the other hand, I have not always used my money in the wisest of ways, not necessarily something I'd like to give an account for if it weren't 'my' money. Therein lies the problem - I need a real shift in my mindset that the money we make isn't really 'mine' but God's allowing me to use His money for my needs. I know I've heard this many times, and we Christians often glibly quote it, but do we really live it? I know many times I do not.

The second thing the article put forth related to churches. It talked about how churches (and other non-profit organizations) enjoy a tax-free status. This is supposed to be because the reason they are non-profit is that they are supposed to exist to help someone - some community or group of people. It proposed this question that I've found very thought-provoking and even convicting... "If your church's tax-free status was going to be pulled unless you could clearly state how you were going to be an asset to your community that year, what would you say?" Wow...that would certainly light a fire under many churches I would think, Koinonia House included. Of course we all talk about what we 'could' do to impact our community, but how much quicker would we act on those things if our existence, to some degree, depended on it? We get so comfortable living in our Christian bubble, blowing a lot of hot air about what we'd like to do for the community, or how we can impact our towns, but many times never actually get around to it. I've been pondering this since yesterday and challenged - how can we get put into action the things we've often 'discussed', and would we be more intentional about it if there was some consequence for our inaction? And though it may not be from the government, what consequences are there, in reality, for our inaction?

the grass is always greener...

I didn't post last night because my exhaustion overcame me. I had one of those 'feels-great-to-be-so-productive!' days, and now this morning I'm having one of those 'I'm-so-sore-I-can-barely-move' days! Besides the usual stuff...laundry, sweeping, cleaning the bathroom, the kitchen (which means sorting our always growing pile of mail & other misc 'stuff' that accumulates on our kitchen bar), shaving the boys heads (summer has officially arrived!) - I decided to also help out my husband, who has been working a LOT between his 2 jobs, by mowing the lawn. I should mention something at this point...I've NEVER mowed in my life...wasn't even entirely sure how to start the mower. But I got it going and off I went - to do the whole, hilly, 1/2 acre! (This is a push mower - not self-propelled even). Til the end I thought I might die, but, I am happy to report, I did not. As I was mowing I felt really good about it, thinking "I think this is an aspect of being a 'helpmeet' - a helper 'suitable'. I'm capable to do what needs to be done to share the load." Even though I'd never mowed, I think there was extra grace on me yesterday to be able to do that to help my overloaded husband, and it felt good. Well, not physically good, but knowing I was relieving him of approximately 3 hours of work was great. (For those of you that mow regularly, you're probably wondering 'what's the big deal?' But for me, it's big.) And I have new appreciation for Todd's weekly (sometimes bi-weekly) task, and TOTALLY support him finding a used riding mower!! :o)

sorry ladies, this one's taken (and he's all mine...)

I really don't know what to say, other than I had to post these. Do you now have a better understanding of what I deal with on a daily basis???

love weekends

It's been a full and busy weekend, and I can't say I'm looking forward to starting the new week. We're in the final stretch to finish school, and honestly, it's agonizing. We are running behind schedule - we're normally done by now - but we had just started school when my dad died in August, so that set us back several weeks. It's not like we're finishing unreasonably late - second week in June probably - but it's killer right now. We are usually finishing up just as beautiful weather comes to stay and begins beckoning the kids to flee the house and bask in the glorious sunshine for hours on end. And think what a wonderful thing that is for me...!!! Anyway, we're trying to press in to it and fill in some gaps with a few field trips. Anyone got any good (meaning relatively close and CHEAP) field trip ideas? We did almost none this year, so it would be good to get some in and make our last few days more exciting? I'd love to hear them...

Anyway, before diving in to the new week, I'll relish the weekend fun a bit more and share it with you by way of some pics (some mine, some courtesy of Aunt Wanda...)

like father, like son...
ah, to have that kind of energy again...
looks like a serious heart to heart (probably actually, "More juice, pleeeease...)brrrrmmmm.....arrrgghhh!! (celebrated Bryce's b-day...he finally got the uniform he wanted)

just couldn't stay awake another minute... (He stayed that way until halfway home he woke up and asked "Where tractor?" Probably couldn't figure out how he got from there to the van...)

the big sale

I'm completely exhausted after our big yard sale today. We worked like crazy this week, especially yesterday and today, but it was well worth it...we profited somewhere around $900!!! God was very good to us...we set everything up last night (ran out of daylight and had to finish this morning - early), and prayed that it wouldn't rain (which when we left, the sky didn't look too promising). It was beautiful (though hot, but that worked for us in the lemonade and sno-cone sales!). The big items of the day were the stuff we thought was JUNK, (and the stuff we thought would really go didn't...I can't figure it out) and the food...hot dogs, baked good, sno-cones.

I think our facility fund total is somewhere around $3,000. I know it's still a long way off from our goal, but I really feel that if we are faithful to keep plugging away at the small stuff, God's really going to do something amazing.

OK, well, I'm so tired now I can barely form complete sentences, so I'd better stop writing... Thanks for your prayers for today.

these are a few of my favorite things...

My guys playing baseball (well, baseball in general, but especially when it's my guys)...

Kaitlyn's CLEAN room - and it's stayed that way for several days now!!...(can you tell this has been a struggle??)...
SLEEPING children...ahhh...(don't they look like such angels when they're asleep??)

butt cream

OK, for any moms out there still using diaper rash cream...here's an interesting nugget I found last week. When we had the nasty stomach bug biting, Luke had terrible diarrhea for several days and the sore bottom to prove it. I had run out of Desitin and was using Triple Paste, which is at least double the price, and it didn't seem to be working (I thought it was supposed to be the best thing). So I figured I'd just go back to the old faithful, Desitin. I'd always sworn by it, but never actually checked into why, just figured it was my opinion that it seemed to stay on better, protect more, probably no backing for it. WELL, as it turns out, all diaper rash creams are the same thing...active ingredient - zinc oxide. The ONLY difference is the %. Here's my findings - which I am happy to say, supports my ever-so-humble opinion!!

Balmex.....zinc oxide 11.3%
Triple Paste....zinc oxide 12.8%
Desitin (original)....zinc oxide 40% (The Desitin creamy is much lower...comparable to all the rest)

Need I say more?

random thoughts

Here are some random thoughts I am having this evening:

• It's late & I should be in bed.
• I'm feeling very good about my relationship with Kaitlyn right now...I'm beginning to enjoy her growing up, while amazingly, it makes me sad, frustrated & somewhat crazy all at the same time. (Not sure if that makes sense at all...). I'm also EXTREMELY happy that her room is CLEAN!! (Yeah, Kate!)
• I'm really frustrated about the slowness of funds coming in towards a building, yet I have a quiet peace that God is at work and something is going to happen...
  
• Luke is becoming more 'kid' and less 'baby' all the time. While I'm sad to be coming out of the baby stage of my life, I'm also finding it getting easier and more enjoyable. I know people have always told me it doesn't get 'easier' and I know, I know...bigger kids, bigger problems...but I gotta say, sleeping through the night is a beautiful thing (though I still don't always have that luxury, it happens more often than not at least) and not having to pack 5 changes of clothing and bottles and baby food whenever we go somewhere makes going anywhere much easier and more flexible. Also, knowing that I'm done having babies makes me all the more excited to hold my new little nephew or niece!!!!
• I cannot possibly make everyone happy. I cannot make people build relationships or be accountable. I cannot make them reach out to new people. I cannot make them work out differences. I cannot make them be real with others and go below the surface. I CAN, however, lead by example.
• I would like to really discipline myself to spend a minimum of 30 minutes per day with the Lord as opposed to a few minutes here & there and then extended periods every couple of days. Is this possible for a mom?
• I would like to actually finish the 3 books I am currently reading and then go back to the 3 or so others I've started the past several months and finish them.
• I wonder if people know that they can leave comments on my blog even if they don't have a blogger account, they just have to do it as 'anonymous' and then sign their name at the end of the comment... (wow, that was REALLY random!!)
  
• I have so many things to do tomorrow!! I simply must go to bed...
  

nauseating purples?

So, I changed the look of my blog... What do you think? Too much purple? The template choices are somewhat limited... I don't want you readers to feel nauseated by the 'girliness' - will you still visit such a purple place? I may still change it... we'll see. (Who knows, til you read this it may not make sense because I may have already changed it!! :o) )

a woman, not a man

I have been reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot called "Let Me Be a Woman" and am loving it. (If you know me, this is really something in and of itself, because I've not always been a big fan of Elisabeth, shall we say...) One part in particular has really struck a chord with me in the way it addresses what women are capable of doing.

I've long wrestled with womens' roles, especially in church leadership. I have a real desire to understand God's heart on this, and not be led by my own flesh, the world's standards, another individuals commentaries on scripture (I think we occasionally forget that the notes at the bottom of our study Bibles are not actually part of the inspired Word of God), or anything else. Much of what I've read on both sides of the issue has not set right with me. I tend to think I would not necessarily fall exactly on the same lines as Elisabeth Elliot, but I think that the heart of the book I am reading really resonates with what I am finding to be true.

I think we have oft fallen into the world's mindset of feminism that equal value means 'the same in every way'. The world tells us that 'feminism' is equality, when more often it means being viewed as genderless, which is not something that appeals to me. Part of truly appreciating who I am is valuing my female-ness (which is what the word 'feminism' should imply). The problem arises with this when we try to 'pigeon-hole' what femininity looks like. I understand why women who don't fit the "sugar & spice & everything nice" mold sometimes feel they don't fit well in the church; I feel often the church has held up the picture of the stay-at-home-mom with the bow in her hair and adorable well behaved children as the model Christian woman that ALL women should aspire to be. While I obviously find the job of mothering of great importance (since I am one!!), I have an ever-increasing understanding of the struggle for those who have different aspirations.

I am finding though that within Christianity there IS great freedom for women to do and be anything God calls them to. This is much of what Elisabeth writes of in this book. What place has God called you to? It may be to be a wife and mother - or not! He may call you to be a doctor or engineer, a writer or a musician. But if you are a woman, He calls you to be a WOMAN doctor, a WOMAN writer, etc. While women can do much of what men can, they will (or should) do it in a feminine way. If you are a woman, the one thing you are NOT called to be is a man!! This is how Elisabeth illustrates this in her chapter entitled "A Choice Is A Limitation":

You will remember Betty Greene, one of the founders of the Missionary Aviation Fellowship, who has flown every kind of plane except a jet. She even ferried bombers during WWII, and you were surprised that she didn't "look like a pilot". Nobody else thought she did either, and often when she would land in some foreign airfield the authorities were nonplussed to see a woman step out of the plane. "Do you fly these planes alone?" she was often asked. But long ago Betty had made up her mind that if she was going to make her way in a man's world she had to be a lady. She would have to compete with men in being a pilot, but she would not compete with men in being a man. She refused to try in any way to act like a man.

It is a naive sort of feminism that insists that women prove their ability to do all the things that men do. This is a distortion and a travesty. Men have never sought to prove that they can do all the things women do. Why subject women to purely masculine criteria? Woman can and ought to be judged by the criteria of femininity, for it is in their femininity that they participate in the human race. And femininity has its limitations. So has masculinity. That is what we've been talking about. To do this is not to do that. To be this is not to be that. To be a woman is not to be a man.

the lost days

Well, now that I've vented in my last post, on to the rest of life that's been happening at the Clemmer house since last Saturday.

• 3 out of 4 Clemmer children report that the stomach bug that has hit is NO FUN!! Kate & Luke seem to be through it (finally!!), Bryce is right in the throws of fever, puke & diarrhea now (he could use prayer)... Also pray for Seth...so far he's been untouched (and we'd like it to stay that way)!!
• Bryce gave all his money this past Sunday in the offering. He was sooo excited to do it. The next morning a PS2 Madden '07 game appeared on our van under the windshield wiper with this note:We honestly have no idea who did this... When Kate brought it in and we all were looking at it, Todd asked me "Do you know who did this?" I said "No! You don't either?!?" He said "No..." To which Bryce EMPHATICALLY responded "It was GOD!!! It says 'Your heavenly father...that's GOD!!!" He was one pumped little boy, who no doubt has experienced something that will stay with him a lifetime.
• We just got Kaitlyn's standardized test scores back and she did great! Kate's never been a great test-taker, and timed anything makes her freeze up. Her 1st grade teacher told us this back when they would do 2-minute addition drills. She said that she stopped making it a 'race' for a handful of the kids (Kate included) because she could see as soon as she said "Go!" they would freeze. She continued giving them timed tests, just not making a big deal about it, and they all did better. So as you can imagine, standardized tests are not Kaitlyn's favorite thing. But I tried to make it 'no-big-deal' this year and reassured her she would not fail 5th grade if she didn't do well (which is apparently what she thought the other years she took it - poor kid!!); she said she was much more relaxed this year. She scored on and above grade level in everything. Hallelujah!
• Our worship team has deserted us this week (well, the 2 leaders and the bass player anyway) and that leaves me to lead. Not a strong point for me...I do ok on the piano, and I do ok singing, but having to lead doing both at the same time... did I mention I'm not real coordinated? (By the way, I'm just kidding about the desertion...they all had very legit things happening, which I honestly wouldn't want them to miss...I just wish it didn't all happen on the same day!!)

Well, I guess that's enough for now. I'll probably continue to have a few more rambling posts (I've got at least one more about Desitin I've just gotta share...), now that I've uncorked the stuff that's been bottled up the past few days...

rotten flesh stinks

I've typed and deleted this post several times. It's been several days since I posted, and while I love blogging (both reading and writing aspects), I've been avoiding mine because I didn't feel like I had much good to say, and don't want to be a public whiner. At the same time, however, I just read a blog of a pastor who talked about being real about who he is and the struggles he goes through, and how many people have been encouraged by that. He talked about the need to tear down the mindset of church leaders on pedestals. While I don't think I'm on a pedestal for anyone, I do think there is something to be said about not stirring up complaining or dissension. (I just have been being hit hard by the story of the Israelites in Numbers 12-14 and how harshly God dealt with complaining and the spies that spread the bad report). So I've just been quietly trying to deal with my inner 'angst'. Today I've decided that there might be some 'middle ground' where I can share bits of my struggle without being a stumbling block for others.

First of all, we're in the middle of a corporate fast at Koinonia House. I freely admit that I do NOT enjoy fasting, and am really not good at it. There, I've said it. This week, my resolve has not been strong; I find myself playing mind games about what I will 'allow' myself...what's 'cheating', what's not... OH PLEASE!! This is a fast, not a game of some kind where I earn points with God if I'm able to 'hold out' and lose points if I 'cave'. The point is to heighten my spiritual senses, so to speak, to better discern what God is doing and saying, and how I can better follow Him. In the beginning of the week, Todd & I would have discussions about whether or not we felt God saying anything; did we have any direction, revelation... Each time my response was the same. NOTHING. Nada. Until last night, in the midst of a small fit of anger, I realized "Wait a minute!! THIS is what God's doing! He's exposing all my ugly, fleshly junk that I occasionally think is gone (or at least effectively under wraps)." Well, THAT'S no fun!! If I'm going to fast, I want answers, direction, miracles! You know, some nice, 'spiritual experience' that makes me feel warm and fuzzy!! Nope...not gonna happen. God's doing some deep digging this time, and I am NOT enjoying it. But it does help to know that something is going on...even if it's not the 'something' I'd like it to be!!

Don't you hate when you get all excited about what God's doing, and then everything seems to get worse?!?!?

lemonade anyone?

Today we spent 4 (very hot) hours doing a lemonade stand (with a bunch kids) to raise money for our facility fund drive. We made $101.65 - the kids were flying!! We didn't think that was too bad for a couple hours of just serving lemonade! God is so good, and it's so fun to see our kids feeling like part of the Koinonia community in a real way. The past few days has seen some more money come in toward the facility, and we are just praying that God will continue to provide, in whatever way He see fit, and that the right doors will be open, in the right time. That's usually my biggest struggle...the right time. (I would love to be in our building tomorrow...) But I'm learning to be content in every situation (key word: learning).

love my kids...

What a crazy past 2 days it's been. Crazy-busy that is. Yesterday Kaitlyn & I headed out to Harrisburg for the annual homeschool curriculum fair. It's an event I look forward to every year. Partly because I simply love books, and partly because it really revitalizes my excitement for homeschooling. We seriously prayed about and considered putting the boys in school this year, but decided against it at this point. I've had so many little opportunities come up in the course of doing school (especially with Bryce) to sow into him, to shape him and point him in the direction of seeking God in everything. It's not that I don't think this could be done if he were in school; I know tons of kids who go/went to school (public & private) and are amazing. But for us, for this next year, we really feel like homeschooling is what we're supposed to be doing, and after wrestling with the decision the past few weeks, I am finally at peace with the decision, and so are the kids. God has been speaking to my heart again that I am called not only to educate them, but to prepare and equip them for the unique purposes God has for them. I feel like Bryce is at a crucial time with settling within himself what he believes. (I know they will obviously re-visit this many times in their life), but I want to make the most of the opportunities.

By way of an update on an earlier post, Bryce is very excited to be giving ALL his money (that he saved for the PS2 game) into the offering this Sunday. It was a hard decision for him, one that he really wrestled with, but he is now so excited to be learning to listen to God's gentle leading and obeying. He had a hard time saying what he felt God wanted him to do - which was give it all (not something we ever suggested, it was what he felt like God was telling him to do), but once he did we encouraged him that God would bless his obedience. We told him he may not see it right away, and it might not look exactly like what he expects, but God does honor our obedience. It will be cool to see what God does in Bryce through this - I'm sure it will be something he never forgets!!

I love my kids so much, and am thankful that God has entrusted them to me. I continually pray that God will guide us in our parenting, and to cover the gaps where we fall short. It's comforting (and hard to fathom, actually) that He loves them even more than I do!!

1 down, only 49 to go!!!!!

I am SO excited (yes, again...I guess I'm easily excitable)!! Today our first $1,000 check came in for our Facility Fund Drive!! From a totally unexpected source...I love when that happens. I can very easily go into overdrive trying to make things happen, but I really need to slow down (breathe...) and remember that I have to be faithful with my part, but it's really only God who makes stuff come together, because it's all about Him!

Anyway, 1 down, only 49 to go!! Maybe we need to start a campaign (can you hear the Superman-esque background music)...only 49 slots left!! Don't wait! Get in on the action now...be one of the few, the valued, the 'Supporters of Koinonia House'! OK, this is getting cheesier by the line...

As for the 'doing my part' - we are starting our lemonade/iced tea stand this weekend at Glick's Greenhouse in Oley, PA for any of you locals who might want to stop by and support us that way (and pick up some pretty nice plants at the same time!). Also, mark your calendars for the Super-Sized Yard Sale on Saturday, May 26 (also being held at Glick's Greenhouse). In addition to great bargains, we will have snow cones, face painting and more! Hope you can make it!!

summer's comin' !!!

Aahhh...signs of summer coming...

POPCICLES!! mmmm....

rejoicing with the angels

Rejoicing with the angels tonight...another life committed to Jesus today!! My heart is overwhelmed to see and get to be part of lives being changed, hurts being healed, and the very things the enemy means for harm and destruction being turned around as used as weapons of warfare on him!! Who but Jesus can take that which is broken and not only restore, but make it better than ever before? I've experienced it first-hand, and can't adequately express the fullness in my heart every time I see the Redemptive work of Christ in another life...

ta da!

Well, after only a bit of hassle because Home Depot's paint mixer wasn't calibrated right, so our colors were off... too long and boring of a story to post...here's our color filled house! And it was all done in one day, including furniture put back and all, with time to relax and enjoy and watch a movie at the end of the day! (The pics aren't great, but it was the best I could do...) Thanks to all our dear friends and family for all the help in all the different ways...painters, 'color advisors', food providers and babysitters...we love you all!

we're at it again...

Well, we're getting ready to do it again, believe it or not. Paint that is!! This time we are tackling the whole livingroom/dining room/kitchen/hallway. Our upstairs is pretty much all open, so you can't really paint just one room - it's all or nothing. So, 'with a little help from our friends' we're gonna do it. (As a gift for us for Christmas the church took an offering to buy us the paint and a few guys & gals are coming over to help and also taking the kids for the day so we can get it done kid-free!) I'm so glad, I'm tired of looking at dirty walls with all the picture marks from the previous owners decorating! I didn't think to post before/after pics of the bathroom (which would have been worthwhile, since unless you saw that Peptobismol pink, you really can't fully appreciate it now...), so here's some shots of my dirty-white walls, and hopefully by Sunday have some shots of my lovely new, color-filled home!

learning to hear and obey

This is a picture of Bryce getting totally into his Madden '05 PS2 game. A little while back he emptied his plastic bank, and with the help of his sister counted his money to find out that he had $20. He immediately wanted to make a trip to Wal-Mart to see if that was enough for the new Madden '07 game. We didn't go immediately, but sometime in the next few days we did make it there, but only to Bryce's disappointment as he found out the game was $30. I tried to encourage him that he could try to earn $10 by doing some extra jobs (plus reminded him he had a few teeth about to come out too...) He was pretty much not to be consoled at that point, but over the next week or so, he tried looking for wherever he might be able to get some cash. He did do some extra jobs (like cleaning up the patio and the flower beds for me, which I hate - pulling out all the dead leaves, etc), so I told him I'd give him a couple $ for it (especially since he did it first just to surprise me - his sister's suggestion, and they both worked on it - then after enjoyed my excitement decided to throw in that if I wanted to pay them some money, they'd be ok with that...) The final $1 came when Bryce punched out his tooth...you can see the earlier post about that if you haven't already...

But during the course of the next couple days, his school lessons were talking about money, and stewardship, and the principle of giving some of your money to God, saving some, and having some to spend. He got very quiet and seemed upset, so I asked him what was wrong. He said he felt like maybe God didn't want him to spend ALL his money on the Madden game, but he REALLY wanted it!! I told him to just pray about it...I said God could let him know what he should do. He replied that he didn't really want to pray about it...because he thought God would tell him he should give all his money to church. I assured him that God doesn't expect us to give all our money (necessarily, though sometimes he does tell us to) so not to be worried, just to pray about it, and who knows, maybe if he was obedient God would allow him to get the game some other way, and not end up spending all his money to do it. He wasn't thrilled with the thought, but since then has not brought up buying the game and has been content to play with what he has. I just asked him again if he prayed about it anymore and he said no. He doesn't want to ask 'cuz he thinks he won't like the answer - gotta love the honesty! (I really would love for him to pray about it, and then be able to give him that for his birthday to show a tangible way of God honoring his obedience.)

While I don't enjoy my children's discomfort, in this case I kind of am, because I am getting to see him wrestle with listening to God and responding rightly. That's really cool at such a young age. I'd rather have him wrestle over obedience in these super-small things and save us all the agony of learning it later when the issues are so much bigger. I'm praying he gets it this early in life!!

i am of driscoll??????

I don't know if anyone who reads this blog (if there actually is anyone????) has ever heard of the National New Church Conference, or Mark Driscoll, or Bill Hybles, but in my church planter blog reading I've been hearing a lot about a mini-'scandal' going on because of something that happened at the conference. It has just reminded me that when we get all caught up in who's books we read, podcasts we listen to, or teachings we follow, we are no different than the Corinthians Paul was addressing in his letter. We've often read this passage (which if you read, I have altered slightly as a statement to this current 'controversy'), we may have even taught on it or heard it taught. Today I'm taking a moment to examine myself and ask "Who am I 'of'? Am I getting caught up and enamored with a person more than my Lord?" It's worth pondering. Are you a 'fan' of someone to the point that it has caused dissension between you and a brother or sister? If so, it's time for a heart check. In the passage I've inserted Driscoll & Hybel's names...it could be anyone prominent...Bickle, Mahaney, LaHaye, Giglio, Stanley, Campolo, McManus, McClaren, Kreider...you name it... who's 'your guy' when it comes to theology? I don't want my agreement or disagreement with any man hinder me from fully following God...

1 Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly–mere infants in Christ. 2 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. 3 You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men? 4 For when one says, “I follow Paul Driscoll,” and another, “I follow Apollos Hybels,” are you not mere men?

5 What, after all, is Apollos Hybels? And what is Paul Driscoll? Only servants, through whom you came to believe–as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6 I Driscoll planted the seed, Apollos Hybels watered it, but God made it grow. 7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. 9 For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.

I Corinthians 3:1-9

this 'pilgrim's' progress

I've been reading 'The Pilgrim's Progress' to the kids at lunch time. I know my mom read it to us as kids, but I really didn't remember much of it at all. I've been realizing now, as an adult, how true to the Christian life this allegory is.

In today's reading, Christian, and his friend Hopeful, followed Vain-confidence to a dead-end. A fierce storm arises, and being terrified, they hide and fall asleep, only to be awakend by the giant Despair, who takes them prisoner in Doubting Castle. Despair beat them viciously and kept them under lock. Until Christian realizes he's been given a key, much earlier in his journey, called Promise, that will open any door in Doubting Castle. He had the key to his freedom all along, but he forgot.

Two weeks ago, on three different occasions, God brought me to the story of the Israelites doubt and despair after hearing the spies' reports of the Promise Land. (Deuteronomy 1) No matter the reports of how good the land was, or the encouragement of their leader, Moses, reminding them that God would fight for them and carry them through, they still chose to believe that God did not have the best in mind for them. They became discouraged and terrified. Because of their despair, and their complaining against God they were not able to enter the promise land.

I have felt strongly that God is admonishing me to stand firm, and not doubt, despite what things might 'look' like. Not to rely on my own strength, because therein is sure failure, but to trust His plans, His purposes and His promises. It almost becomes humorous when God says the same things so clearly over and over...apparently it hasn't completely gotten through this thick head yet...but I'm definitely starting to get it!!