Wednesday, December 30, 2009

it's good to be home

Today I was paid a huge compliment by a friend I haven't seen in months. She's been gone since the end of summer, and thus has missed my 'transition period' of putting the kids in school, my new addiction to thrift stores, and my rearranging and/or painting everything in my house! However, as we talked about deeper things today than spray paint and good deals...things like how much I feel God is growing me, how healthy I am feeling right now, how much less stressed I am, and how confident I feel that the Lord has led us to this place (in regards to church, school, job, etc.) she was saying how she sensed those changes in me. She said "Even your house has a different feel. It just seems peaceful." What good that did my heart! Throughout all the transition and changes, I have felt such a renewed enjoyment in being able to be home, and focus on making it a welcoming place, not just for guests, but for my family. I used to greatly enjoy entertaining and just sitting down and sharing a cup of tea or coffee with a friend, and over the past few years felt that part of me had gotten lost somewhere. My home felt too small and not good enough, and just generally a place of pure function and anything 'extra' was basically resigned to position of afterthought. Over the holidays we've had the pleasure of having quite a bit of company, several of which were old friends we hadn't had in our home for quite a while. While it made me feel good to hear compliments on my projects, what made me feel better was a returned joy to being able to welcome folks and have them feel totally at home. Sure, sometimes it was tight and we had to set up extra tables for kids or really squish in tight, but we managed. Some cups got spilled and some cookies burned...but really - no biggy. And there were a couple of times when I was in the middle of conversation, and since the 'hostess' was distracted, someone helped themselves to look through my cupboards for a cup or bowl. While some might feel awkward about that, I love nothing more!! Not that I wasn't being a good hostess, but rather, it made me feel good to know that people feel comfortable enough with me and my house to know it was okay for them to 'poke around'. In some way, the past few weeks have made me feel like I found myself again.

So, without getting too 'deep', I don't know where I was before...but it's good to be back!! :)

1 comment:

zz said...

I have sensed a difference in your tone. Not harried. It was the sense I felt when I knew homeschooling had become something I was doing in my own strength after 15 yrs and not being willing to let others help shoulder the load of teaching my children. It was so much better when I came to terms with what surrender means.