so I wanna go back to Egypt???

I'm coming to the conclusion that I might just be the world's biggest baby. I've mentioned before that I don't handle change well, and I'm finding that to be truer every day. Every new situation anymore fills me with an odd mixture of a small degree of hopefulness and a large portion of apprehension. It's really rather annoying, because I know in my head that God is in control and He has good plans for my future. But I cannot seem to shake this ever-irritating cycle of dragging my feet with everything and wasting time wishing I could 'go back' to the way things (whatever those 'things' may be...) used to be. Last night I heard this song by Sara Groves again, and feel like it's so much the story of my life! Will I ever be able to get beyond this ridiculous wrestling with myself?!!?

Painting Pictures of Egypt

I don't want to leave here
I don't want to stay
It feels like pinching to me
Either way
And the places I long for the most
Are the places where I've been
They are calling out to me
Like a long lost friend

It's not about losing faith
It's not about trust
It's all about comfortable
When you move so much
And the place I was wasn't perfect
But I had found a way to live
And it wasn't milk or honey
But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
I've been leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard,
And I wanna go back!
But the places that used to fit me,
Cannot hold the things I've learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned!

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy
To discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the Promise
And the things I know

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
I've been leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard,
And I wanna go back!
But the places that used to fit me,
Cannot hold the things I've learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned!


If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
And if it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?