Thursday, November 15, 2007

exploring a new concept...balance

Every-other month the DOVE pastors' wives get together for a few hours. I absolutely LOVE this time, for several reasons. First of all, it's a time for me to simply be encouraged and poured in to, with nothing expected of me, and I hold no position. I'm not leading, hosting or planning...I'm not doing anything but showing up! I love the opportunity to do that once in a while!

The other thing I love is being challenged and encouraged by other women who have walked the road before me, and being able to draw on their wisdom and insight. Yesterday two of the wives strongly encouraged me that we need to make a set-in-stone family night. It's something that has been suggested to us before, and we've thought about, but never really committed ourselves to. Yesterday two of the women stressed to me the importance of it, and the sense of stability it will give the kids, as well as something they can look forward to and enjoy. I've been thinking that as we come to the end of another year, something I want to do is take a look at our life in general and regroup. I want to take a hard look at our schedule, our priorities, our goals. One thing one of our overseers keeps reminding us to do is put the 'big rocks' in place. I think it's time for us to do that again. (By 'big rocks' I mean putting in place the immovable things in our life - the things that should not and can not be changed - and everything else will just have to fit in around those things.)

I also read an article today reminding and encouraging leaders that others are watching, and end up mimicking our lives in many ways. One thing this article focused on is that if we live over-scheduled, crazy-busy lives, that is what we are modeling for those who we are leading. It struck a chord of truth in me. It was confirmed this evening when someone told me about how impacted someone else was by the atmosphere of our home when they visited recently. (Thankfully, she was meaning it in a good way, and as a compliment! It's not always such a great atmosphere, so they must've caught us on a fairly good day!!) It also said that we tend to expect others to live the way we are. While I do not wish for others to live with the stress that I so often create for myself, I do tend to put somewhat unrealistic expectations on people, because it is what I expect of myself. I am beginning to recognize some of the unhealthiness of our overly busy lifestyle, and I am brought up short to realize that I am modeling this, and really, it's not what I want for those I am leading. So not only for myself and my family, but also for them, it is so important that we learn balance and learn to live out of a place of resting in Him. What a challenge for me to rise to in the coming year.

Balance...hmmm...a foreign concept to me, but one I must definitely explore...

1 comment:

Zoanna said...

I'm glad you have this kind of group to "jsut show up" to. I think pastors' wives have nearly as much influence on the congregation as the pastors themselves. Our pastors have Mondays off and it's a do-not-call-me-no-emails,nothing except death kind of thing. Of course they are humble and willing to serve in a crisis, but what most people call a crisis can wsit till Tuesday (marital problems don't spring up overnight). Now there are true emegencies to which they respond (life and death). So for them to be so serious about their day off makes the rest of us say, "We should be,too." The thing is most of the world has Saturdays off, and that can be a day when leaders want their cong to show up for special events, work days, etc. Then you have to evaluate as a member, "Am I doing this because the pastors asked, or have we prayed and asked God if this is the best use of family time?" As a PK I can tell you I loved that my dad put family days first. Now as an adult, his adult children play second fiddle to the church calendar, and I must admit, that sometimes hurts. But I'm an adult and shoudln't expect them to rearrange their lives for me! i'm such a baby sometimes.

Oh, and I have wrestled with the stigma of not being an overly busy person. SEems the world and the church value busy people, as if it's all noble?