But I am thankful to say that in the midst of it, as I kept a motherly hand on him, I felt my Father's hand as well. While I was tired and wished we could both find some peaceful sleep, my heart was touched by my son's sweet spirit amidst his pain. He thanked me a few times for staying with him, and said "Mom, I love you." When I got tired, and my massaging would slow, he would say "It's okay, Mom, if you can just keep your hand on me, that will be good..." In that moment, even though my brain was foggy, and my body tired, I thought...it's just like what we need from our Father. Closeness. Reassurance that He is by our side through the struggle. That He won't leave us. That He keeps His hand on us. I found strength in the thought, that the very things my boy needed from me, though it was not in me to give, I could ask for the same from my Father, and He, who is never tired, would provide all that we both needed to get through the night. My heart also responded with "Father, I love you..." and as we emerged in the light of the morning, tired, but victorious (both fever and headache free), I was actually thankful for what God had shown me in the watches of the night. His is a faithful loving Father, who my heart longs to learn many more such lessons from.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
~ Psalm 139:5