Thursday, May 19, 2011

lessons in the night

Last night was one of those tough 'mom' nights for me...I was up almost the entire night tending a sick boy, who had a severe migraine, and a fever that, between it and his in-and-out grogginess had him thinking there were lots of 'people' on his bed, that the window in his room was a computer screen (and he "still had five questions to answer"), and had him fiddling with invisible 'pieces' that he had to put together, but he "didn't want to".  Needless to say, between the pain and the almost hallucinations, it was a very rough night.  (In case you're wondering why we didn't rush him to the hospital, it was because the fever wasn't actually that high...only 101...and he had already been struggling with the headache during the day.  Migraines are fairly common for him, especially during the height of allergy season.  So I attributed the strange talk to a combination of the ailments and being half-asleep, so we decided to wait, and monitor the fever before rushing to the ER.)  He was able to relax for a little while if I was massaging his head, neck or back, but if I stopped (as happened often as I dozed off in the 4-5 hour stretch) the pain would increase and he'd ask me to keep on.

But I am thankful to say that in the midst of it, as I kept a motherly hand on him, I felt my Father's hand as well.  While I was tired and wished we could both find some peaceful sleep, my heart was touched by my son's sweet spirit amidst his pain.  He thanked me a few times for staying with him, and said "Mom, I love you."  When I got tired, and my massaging would slow, he would say "It's okay, Mom, if you can just keep your hand on me, that will be good..."  In that moment, even though my brain was foggy, and my body tired, I's just like what we need from our Father.  Closeness.  Reassurance that He is by our side through the struggle.  That He won't leave us.  That He keeps His hand on us.  I found strength in the thought, that the very things my boy needed from me, though it was not in me to give, I could ask for the same from my Father, and He, who is never tired, would provide all that we both needed to get through the night.  My heart also responded with "Father, I love you..." and as we emerged in the light of the morning, tired, but victorious (both fever and headache free), I was actually thankful for what God had shown me in the watches of the night.  His is a faithful loving Father, who my heart longs to learn many more such lessons from.

You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me

             ~ Psalm 139:5


Holly said...

Boy Jess, that's a miserable night! I'm sorry for both of you! I hope that doesn't happen again anytime soon. But thank you for the lesson! I needed that today!

Julie said...

FYI- You were honored with an award on my blog today. : )