I've had several posts rattling around in my head, but of late whenever I have the time to post, the inspiration seems nowhere to be found. Then, when I'm busy doing three things at once, I think "This would be a great post!", but can't stop a the moment to write. I actually thought about getting out of bed around midnight last night to get some of them down, but decided, "Ah, I'll have time to do it in the morning...". Somehow, my mornings never look like what I envision them as the night before.
This morning I woke up in the midst of somewhat of a panic attack. I'm not particularly prone to such things, but this morning I was awake at 5:15, with a gnawing pain in my gut (quite literally), a sort of tightness in my chest, and on the verge of tears. Swirling in my mind were all the things that I've been trying to keep 'at bay' from my thoughts because they are stressful situations that I cannot directly change, or at least not anything I have any quick fixes for. They are things in both my own life and others. My dear hubby prayed for me before he headed off to work, concerned at my uncharacteristic morning blueness.
I was able to drift back to sleep for a while morning, but when I did get up, I still wasn't feeling any better. I classify my mood today as "Eeyorish"...kind of a gray cloud hanging over my head, and unable to see anything but said cloud. But since I know that I have the ability to take my thoughts captive and I don't HAVE to wallow in my gloom, I decided to just tackle the things that lay ahead of me for the day (some of which were dreaded jobs like budgeting and going to the grocery store), and readjust my mindset. A big part of that, for me, includes praying and getting some time alone on the piano to worship. It's sort of like forcefully reminding myself the truth of who God is. It helps me...a lot.
So, while none of my situations have changed, my 'yucky' jobs are done (at least momentarily), and I've refocused on He who is in charge of my life and always faithful. Final thought for today...here's a song that really helped me get myself 'realigned' today: