It seems that my days as a homeschool mom are coming to end. And I don't just mean for the summer. Todd & I have been wrestling with the decision about whether or not to continue homeschooling next year, or to put the kids in school. And if we go with the school option, what school?
It's been a very tough decision. One that I've invested prayers and tears in. One that has forced me to look past my fears, face my insecurities and areas of failure and/or lack, and trust God to show us what's best for this season for our kids, each individually for where they are at, as well as us as a family.
This process has led us to the decision to go with the option of school. Nothing is set for sure, but we are moving towards enrolling the boys in our local public elementary school, and Kaitlyn in a local Christian school (where she attended for her early elementary years). The boys are slightly nervous, but mostly excited. We felt like the time was right to take advantage of their excitement and not wait til fear moved in. As for Kate...well, she's putting up a bit of a fight, though seems to be slowly accepting the change. She is the one we felt most needed to be pushed out of her comfort zone to continue to grow, not only academically, but on spiritual and social levels as well. (Not that she isn't 'socialized' - the problem is actually the opposite...she's highly social and being part of a very small church plant, with very few people her age, just isn't providing enough outlets for her.)
So, I am about to enter (or, at least in the fall) a completely new territory. 3 kids in school, only 1 preschooler at home... I spent a good part of the last 24 hours crying. Tears of sadness for a season ending; tears of relief for coming out from a time of being completely overwhelmed and burned out; tears of fear of the unknown; tears of having to face the facts of inevitable life changes.
I'm thinking this summer is going to be very bittersweet. Really can't continue to say any more in this post, as the waterworks has finally died down for now and I don't want to restart it!!