Yesterday my husband ripped the carpet out of our dining room. We were so happy/relieved to find nice hardwood flooring underneath; a few scratches and scuffs, but overall, really good condition. The carpet was beautiful when we moved in - plush, OFF-WHITE carpet, that is - underneath a dining room table where 4 young children take their meals. Let's just say - NOT a good idea. Plus our kitchen/dining area are like Grand Central Station. Don't misunderstand...I love that we have tons of people in our house - it's just not good on carpet.
Anyway, in the process of removing the carpet, I had to empty my hutch (so it could be moved) and this morning as I was re-loading it, I was reminded how often I used to use all my pretty tea things, and how now I RARELY get them out. I think I may have used a tea pot 5 times or less since we've moved here, which is going to be 2 years ago already in November (can you believe it?!?!?). Many times since moving/church planting/etc., I have felt like I've lost who I am. Tea (and everything related to it) was a huge part of who I am/was. Now I wonder sometimes where that person went. In almost 2 years, I don't think I've invited anyone over just to have a cup of tea! In fact, when we moved I had to get rid of one of my two hutches because there was no room, so half of my stuff is still packed in boxes. (The pic below is only about half or less of my collection). I've been processing through this...I think part of it is just simply the season I'm in, not only with the church, but with 4 small children, and, of course, homeschooling. My time is much more 'filled' than it used to be. I also drink a LOT more coffee now than I used to (I used to not drink it at all until I got pregnant with my third, and suddenly I became a coffee drinker! Weird!). But another thing I noticed is what I associate the drinks with. To me, tea is a relaxing, unwinding, comforting drink. Coffee is a working, accomplishing, getting things done drink. I much more often sit down in the morning to make my to-do list with a mug of coffee; I used to brew myself a small pot of tea and have it in a dainty cup, even just by myself.
The conclusion of all this is: I think I need to be more purposeful in slowing down. Rather than making everything 'purpose driven' I need to take time to live a little bit. You know, try out being a human BEING instead of a human DOING. I think something about the hardwood reminds me of my Grandma's, a place that, at least for me, was never a 'doing' place, but always a 'being' place. (Not that we didn't do things there, but there was always time for visiting, and tea, even in the midst of the doing). I think the combination of the new (old) wood floor, and having my tea things out has stirred a lot of emotions in me (well, more than were already stirring from many other things lately). I'm trying to not 'push past' those feelings that are coming up but rather allowing myself to experience the torrent of memories, feelings, sounds, and allow it all to become part of my now, not just part of my past. I think I'll have a cup of tea.