processing

Today would have been my mom & dad's wedding anniversary. In case you are a new friend, my dad died suddenly on August 27 of a heart attack. He had had no prior heart problems or any health problems, for that matter, that we were aware of, so it was a terrible shock. I think we've all coped pretty well, and I think my mom has been amazing. But today, I wasn't sure how she'd be, this being the another in the 'year of firsts', so I tried to call and feel her out without bringing it up directly, in case that would make her feel worse. She wasn't home, so I left a message, again, without saying anything directly about the day. She's been working a lot of hours at her job, so I didn't think it strange that I didn't hear back from her until tonight later. What I didn't expect was for her to tell me that after an emotional day (she said she didn't want to call in the middle of falling apart because she didn't want to make anything harder for us...) she went out to dinner with some friends. She's made a lot of friends through a grief-share support group that she attended. So she began telling me that the one friend didn't get back to her, so she ended up just going with another friend and HIS son. Now, I guess this is pretty selfish, but I have to admit, it kind of weirded me out...that she ended up going out with a guy friend (and his son, as she quickly pointed out when I mentioned the word 'date'). Don't get me wrong...I really don't have a 'problem' with it...I am truly glad that she's made these different friendships and has other people who she feels comfortable calling to share this process with, but it just freaks me out a bit to think of her having dinner with another guy, even if he is just a friend. I guess it's just part of process that I'm going through. I truly want her to be happy, and if that ends up meaning (which I think eventually it will...she's only 56) that she finds another relationship, well, I want the best for her. But man, it's a whole new thing for me to deal with!!