fall favs

Fall makes me feel so cozy...the cool crisp air, and coming in to the spicy scents and warm glow that is home. Here are a few of my fall favs for this year...

My new 'creative' candle holder from Partylite...
there are two glass cylinders which you can put whatever you like in between to create a totally unique piece, and then a separate little glass cup sits in the center to hold a tealight...Kate had pressed some lovely fall leaves, so this was what we did for a fall coffee table centerpiece. I can't wait to see what we can come up with for Christmas!!

I found a real bargain at Boscov's on Friday when Kate & I had our 'girls' night out'...these adorable little pumpkins on sale for $1.99!

I got a few new Yankee jars (another bargain I found - they went and put an outlet near my house!! not good!!) - this one is my 'pumpkin pie', which I burn simultaneously with a 'carmel pecan'...mmm. Speaking of 'mmm' - we've also been making lots of apple crisp! It's a hit with my family and I consider it a fairly healthy snack - or even breakfast! I also enjoy a steaming hot cup of vanilla chai tea with it as well.

So, what are your favorite things that autumn brings?

monday, monday...

We had a very fun and relaxing weekend, but Mondays are just always crazy around here. In general I'm always a bit of a slow-starter, so it stands to reason that I can never seem to just bounce up and plunge in to a new week. I'm starting to think I'd do better to just accept that fact and figure out the best way to work around it!

Anyway, we headed to the library today and checked out several books on puppy training, as well as a video (yes, so old it's actually a VHS not DVD) that's supposed to get the whole family in on the training process. I made all the kids gather 'round and we watched the video together. (To which Luke commented at one point "We are having 'shamly' night" - that's 'family' in Lukey-speak). Well, we watched 'Lesson 1' and then tried it out on Maggie. It worked pretty well! We actually accomplished 2 things - we've got Maggie beginning to sit, AND (even more importantly) Luke wanted to 'try it', so he took the food in hand, commanded her to sit and then fed her the very tiny nibblets of food. As in, he had to actually get his hand close to (even touching!) her open mouth. For a child who is coming from running in terror every time the dog even looked at him, this is a HUGE step! So, I'm feeling pretty satisfied with the progress in that area...though the housebreaking nearly has me pulling my hair out! Last night, and then again this afternoon, she was peeing literally every 10 minutes on the floor. She finally ended up out on her tie in the yard for a good while because we simply could not keep stopping school to clean up another 'accident'!! She's been better tonight. I'm hoping all the books I got (and maybe lesson 2 of the video?) will deal more with this issue. But for now, Mags is pretty wiped out from all her hard work.
Also tonight, amidst our 'obedience class' being held in the family room, my hubby began the installation of our new coal stove. I'm always cold, so I'm looking forward to it being toasty warm in our family/school room this winter! I'm also hoping Todd can get the installation done this week and is finished before Saturday so I can go on our ladies' retreat without feeling guilty for taking a Saturday that he needed to do this job. He and I will both be able to relax much better if this isn't hanging over our heads.

my little rascal

This is what his sister does to him when she is babysitting...

a Godly heritage

Today as I attended my grandmom's funeral, I was reminded once again what a blessing it is to have a Godly heritage. While it was a sad day for the family, my grandmom simply - in her words - 'graduated' to something so much better. It was a day that she so looked forward to - not that she looked forward to death, but rather fuller life in the presence of Jesus - that she had really planned the funeral service in advance, wanting specific scriptures read and songs sung that would clearly and boldly proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ. While I'm so thankful that as Christians death does not leave us hopeless, but rather gives us something to look forward to, it's still hard to adjust to life without loved ones. Today brought so many reminders for me of the tragedy of losing my dad suddenly, two years ago. Again, a tragedy for those of us remaining here - but a triumphal homecoming for him. I imagine there was a joyful reunion though for my dad and my grandmom (who was his mother), and that are awaiting a grand family reunion someday.

One other thing about today that I found very ironic... It was grandmom's birthday today. She was born and buried on the same date.

As a side note, I was pondering over the past weeks how being young, I've always seemed to be in a season of 'adding' - husband, babies, houses, all sorts of new ventures. But lately I've definitely been feeling that I'm entering a different season, one that involves less changes and even more losses than I've ever experienced. In the past few years our family has lost grandparents and my dad. Those are major things to me - things that all my life had been constants. Some of our most cherished friendships have grown distant - for no reason other than 'seasons change'. The season of new babies for me has come to an end. While I'm very sure that I felt we were done having children, it still makes me sad to think of never again feeling the squirming of a new life inside me, or the joyous moment of giving birth. I'm now in a season of training and educating my blessings, and I've got to stop looking for the 'flash in a pan' type energy - the next new and exciting thing - and go for the 'long burn' kind. I need to settle into a sustainable rhythm of life that will provide stability for my family to thrive. For the first time I've gotten a glimpse of why some people experience mid-life crises. Not that I'm saying I'm experiencing one (I'm certainly not old enough for that!), I'm just saying how I could see that if you choose to focus on the wrong things in a season where it doesn't seem like many things are fresh or new, it could definitely get the better of a person. While I don't particularly like the thought of losing other loved ones as we all age, I can purposefully choose to focus on the overwhelming amount of good and new possibilities the future holds.

So much of our life experiences are affected by the attitude with which we choose to approach them. In order for my soul to prosper as I walk this earth, and with the goal of continuing the godly heritage with which I've been blessed, I will resolve to choose to approach life as full of hope, and always keep an eternal perspective in my view. Much as both my grandmothers before me did.

YES!

World Series here we come!!!!

puppy update

Maggie's cracking us up with the ways she likes to relax. Her favorite place to sleep is squeezed between the couch and the end table in the family room. She's doing fairly well with getting used to her crate, and sleeping better at night (she has slept up to 5 hours twice now...I'll be extremely glad when these nighttime potty outings are over!), and getting better with the housebreaking, though she has a ways to go. In fact, I'm not sure who's doing better with it, her or us. We try to stay on top of getting her out pretty regularly and watching her like a hawk, and taking her food away about 2 hours before she's going to need to go in her crate. The chewing thing though...oy! She has periods where she is like a crazed maniac, biting absolutely EVERYTHING (including us)!! That's getting old. We're trying the spraying her with the water Zo, but we aren't sure if she might actually be liking that! Anyway, it seems so ridiculous to be spending this much time on an animal, but I have to say, it's been really good for the kids to have to be stepping up so much with following through on the responsibility. (That's what I choose to focus on every time Todd & I say "Why did we do this again?") :0) It's good she's so cute (and just loves to be held and snuggled...)

loving to be held to snooze

sleeping squeezed in her little spot

Meet Maggie

Well, we've got a new addition to our family! Yep, we gave in to the pleas of our children and brought home a puppy for them yesterday. I have to say, she is most adorable, and I tried to keep reminding myself of that at 3:30 this morning when we were up with her, and then again for the next hour as she cried and yelped because she didn't want to be in her crate, and when she had to go out again at 6...

Anyway...after having gotten up with real babies for so many years of my life now, it really didn't feel all that unusual. AND I know this baby will only be this way for a short while AND I'm actually making Kate get up with her and only get me if she really needs help (which, in puppy's first transition night, Kate DID need help). But part of this whole deal was that the dog would be their responsibility (each to the level of their ability) and I'm really trying to make myself stick to that, as a large part of my reasoning for allowing the dog was that I thought it would be beneficial for the kids in multiple ways - all of them learning responsibility, Bryce learning to be gentle, Luke learning not to be afraid of animals, and Seth - well, he's just a boy with a lot of love who needed a dog.

Yesterday the pup was mostly just really scared, and tired, and was extremely laid back and docile. The farmer we got her from said she'd probably start becoming more active and playful in another week or so. Well, apparently last night in the middle of the night she decided she felt safe and happy, and wanted to play. And chew. And be crazy. We explained to her that we sleep at night here at the Clemmer house, and she would have to learn to do so as well - and after pottying, she was put back in her crate. To cry. Loudly. But, just like I did with my kids when I knew all their needs were met and it was time to sleep, we just left her go and went back to bed.

Today she's kept all of the kids on their toes, to say the least. I think everyone (except Luke) has taken their turns cleaning up pee and poop. We are insisting that as long as she's awake, at least one of them must be watching her constantly (as she is currently trying to chew anything that moves - or doesn't!). They've been really good about it, and are now happy when she's finally tired out and ready to sleep, and they can put her in her box and go do something less 'intensive'. Luke still sort of freaks whenever she moves quickly or looks at him, but we're working on that.

So, that's the update so far. Oh, and last but not least, Todd has been fairly good-natured about it all, as he felt it was the 'right' thing to do to get her, but he's not exactly thrilled. He says he likes her and thinks she's cute, but I think it will take a bit more time for him to be 'attached' to her.

Well, after hearing all the report...meet Maggie. (She's a yellow lab).

patriotic

I think the older I get, the more patriotic I feel. I'm not talking about thinking America is God's gift to the world or anything, but rather, truly appreciating the country that I live in and the freedoms I enjoy. I also have more of an awareness of being grateful to those who fight to defend our country. When we were at the Naval Air Station Wildwood museum with our family last month, I was reminded, while looking at the various aircraft actually flown during the different wars, of the many stories my grandfather used to tell of his 'service' days, and also about the fact that my dad also served during the Vietnam war. I've never thought of myself as coming from a 'military family' because none of my family had military careers, but I do feel connected to the country in a more real way knowing that my father and grandfathers all served in the various military branches, all during times of war.

I find this also plays into my thoughts about John McCain. I have to say, I truly believe the man loves his country and would do everything within his power to serve the country to the best of his ability after knowing McCain's history as a POW. I have no problem believing he will put his country first before his own personal comfort or desires - because he has done so already under the worst of circumstances. In my mind he has earned a certain kind of respect that isn't gained through good campaigning. Of course, I know he's not perfect. I've been disappointed with much of his campaign tactics, and I don't agree with all his viewpoints. But I don't doubt his courage, loyalty and love for America.

This pondering of mine that day at the air station brought up an interesting question that I posed to Todd. Since he comes from a pacifist background (Mennonite) and I didn't, I wondered how we would address the issues of war with our boys, and how he would feel if they ever decided they wanted to serve in the military. I would say I definitely do not hold a pacifist viewpoint, but I absolutely respect those who do, and understand where they are coming from in their reasoning for their position. I definitely lean more toward feeling that God's heart is for mercy and justice, and sometimes that comes through the strong defending the weak. I've thought more in-depth about the topic, but won't bore you with all my beliefs on the ins-and-outs of it all.

In any case, it was the first time that it occured to me that Todd & I might differ on what mindsets and viewpoints we would be teaching our children - the boys in particular. (Though, in many ways, the principles and questions that the whole topic raises does affect girls as well). I guess between my growing interest in politics, the current election issues being talked about (incessantly!), our visit to the museum, and discussing various wars in our history curriculum, it's stirred up lots of questions for me. (As for Todd & I, personally, the discussion is still open). It's not like it's a matter that you can basically just ignore til they are ready to register the day they turn 18. I'm finding myself daily explaining things like the events of 9/11; who is right/wrong in various wars; what happened to John McCain; etc, etc. All things that I've never run into with Kate...apparently boys have a fascination with this kind of stuff in their genes at birth!

So how about you? Do you consider yourself patriotic? Why or why not? Any advise on explaining matters like I mentioned above to children?

measures of success

Amid the craziness of adjusting to our new school year and it's MANY changes, I've also been embroiled in an internal battle. I've been feeling very much like I'm failing in many (most/all) areas of my life from mothering to church leadership. I've had very dear friends remind me that my perspective on some things is probably - well, shall we say slightly skewed - and while that rational side of my brain knew they were right, my emotions were screaming "Don't listen to them. You're a loser and you know it!" However...my God is bigger than my emotions (thankfully) and He is also undaunted by my pouring said emotions out to Him. He's been breaking through to my heart, showing me that part of the problem is my standard to which I'm using to measure my 'success'.

It's so easy for us to hold ourselves up to other people - especially as moms - and decide how we are doing based on how it appears others are doing. (And generally, we don't have a true picture of what their reality is to begin with!) I look at other church plants, I look at other families, I look at educational standards and then I hold myself up to those rulers and find myself incredibly lacking. And usually it takes a little while before I realize the problem might not necessarily be my performance (and believe me, I'm not saying I don't need to make changes!!) so much as the fact that I'm using the wrong system of measures.

One thing the kids are learning in science is that there are standard units of measurement. Length is measured in meters; volume in liters; mass in grams. It's a standard that is fixed. I'm finding that when I hold myself up to standards of my own choosing, I will fall short every single time. What I need to do is find the fixed standard - God's word and his plan for my life.

A few days ago as I was fretting (read 'obsessively worrying') over trying to get my kids all prepared for the 'standardized testing' for this year, I was really beginning to wonder (yet again - you'd think I'd be past this by now!!) why it is I homeschool. I started playing all the old 'tapes' in my head about how I'm probably ruining my kids, not giving them the best education, turning them into sub-par human beings, etc. when God spoke directly to my heart. He reminded me gently, but firmly, that he is crafting them. He has a very unique and special purpose for them, and he is using me to bring that about in their lives, but I am simply a tool. I really have no right to question his work in their life; my place is to be a faithful and willing vessel to see them grow into their appointed destinies. He is the Master Craftsman. And the reason I homeschool my kids, at least for now, is quite simply because that's what I feel God wants me to do with and for them. I have no idea if they will go to college or pursue a trade. I don't know if they'll be in missions or the military (an interesting discussion point that recently came up with Todd & I, with him coming from a pacifist background - but that's an entirely different post). My point is, I believe God has a plan, and I need to seek Him as to what it is, and adjust MY expectations accordingly.

The same is true for our church plant. So many things are not turning out the ways that I would have pictured. And so I've been taking that and looking at it as a failure. But as I've talked - and listened - to different people involved with our little church, I've realized that there has been growth, and there is life, and while it may not look like what I envisioned, it just might actually be right on track with where God is taking us. Have we made mistakes along the way? Sure!! (Or in Palin-ese - "You betcha!") But is God using every one of those to grow us in some way? I'm sure of it. I can't say it's always felt good - or even that it feels good now - but growth seldom does. But I'd take long-term growth over short-term comfort - well, most of the time. :)

So, while I feel like I've been under a gray clouded sky, I'm feeling good about reporting that the Son is breaking through.

...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~Philipians 1:6

Thankful Thursday

So much for my plan to sleep in this morning...I forgot to tell Todd not to set my alarm (we share an alarm and gets up first, then sets it to mine), AND apparently the children did not want the chance to sleep in...they were up at normal time, so we basically started school same time as usual. Oh, well...we're only one more day away from a weekend.

I visited another blog today who also does "Thankful Thursday" and realized "Wow, I haven't done that for weeks!!", and especially today, in the midst of my Eeyore-ish mood, I need to choose to have a thankful heart. So here goes...

I AM THANKFUL FOR:

1. Friends who put up with my moaning, and are even willing to say to me "you know that's not reality, right?". Now THAT's love...
2. Friends who knew exactly what I needed today...kind words and - CHOCOLATE!!! (and a few other special items...thanks!)
   
3. My precious children who try to be so caring and sensitive to me when I'm in a funk. They really try their best to keep their attitudes in check and go out of their way to do 'special' things for me
4. My husband, who is unshaken by my emotional mood swings
5. Scented candles
6. Having enough finances to feed my family, but not so much that I'm freaking out about the 'economic crisis' the past two weeks
7. Cooler weather - I'm finally ready to welcome fall!
8. Sweatshirts - my staple clothing item for that cooler weather!
9. Bets's family FINALLY being 'in' their new house!!
10. God's unwavering presence, love and grace in my life
    

she's waving a white flag...

So much I want to say...but it's frankly, it's not worth saying.

Sick of going constantly. Sick of trying. Just can't sustain this...

I commented on a blog the other day that if I felt any more guilt for failing at something in my life, that I thought it would put me right over the edge. Well, apparently that's where God wants me, so he provided that little extra nudge tonight. I give up, I'm done.

So tomorrow I'm saying "heck with it" - and my children and I are sleeping in. Not setting the alarm clock at all. And you know what? No one is going to die. School will still be there waiting when we wake up - guaranteed. I don't know, maybe we'll all do better if we are more rested (or maybe I should say if I'm more rested). It's an experiment worth trying, at least. Could it get any worse? No, wait - don't answer that...

(Of course, all this is just me blowing off steam...I'm not quitting being a wife/mom/teacher/friend or anything of the other things that I am/do...I'm just taking some 'mental health time' in the morning and praying tonight that God gives me a download of fresh perspective while I sleep...)