lamenting

One thing that I don't like about myself is that I'm a bit of a complainer. I'm usually sarcastic about it, but generally there is an underlying truth to whatever I'm shooting my mouth off about. It's not good. But at the same time, I'm not the type of person to 'put on the happy face' too well. (I occasionally try, but I'm not very successful at it). I actually think that is a good thing; I want to be real and transparent. So, how do I deal with my inner complainer? I've been contemplating and talking to God about this. It's an interesting thing God has been speaking to my heart. See, in some instances I see in scripture, grumbling and complaining really didn't please God, and people suffered for it. Such as:

Numbers 14:26-29 "The Lord said to Moses and Aaron: "How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. So tell them, 'As surely as I live, declares the Lord, I will do to you the very things I heard you say: In this desert your bodies will fall--every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me.

At others places, like the Psalms for instance, we see much complaining and lamenting:

Psalms 142:1-2

I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him.

Psalms 64:1

Hear me, O God, as I voice my complaint; protect my life from the threat of the enemy

I tell my trouble.

Psalms 56:8

Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll-- are they not in your record?

AND, in this verse, it's even said to teach your daughters to lament and wail!! (I think mine came with that talent built right in, as did I!)

Jeremiah 9:20
Now, O women, hear the word of the Lord; open your ears to the words of his mouth. Teach your daughters how to wail; teach one another a lament.


So what's the deal?? Is complaining wrong or not? Here's the conclusion I'm coming to: God wants us to be real with Him; he knows our deepest thoughts and feelings anyway, right? He's not afraid of us saying what we really feel. But he wants us to say it TO Him, I think, as opposed to ABOUT Him. Notice in the verses in Numbers, it says the people were grumbling AGAINST God; in the others, the complaints and laments were directed TO God.

Lately, I've been in a desert so to speak. I feel like I've tried to muster up faith for things, only to be disappointed when they didn't happen. I've asked God to do things and he hasn't. I've endured situations, only for them to continue to drag on, or worse, end badly. I'm kind of at a point of feeling like "what's the point?"...and in my utter frustration, I'm driven to God with nothing to say, other than that. At first I struggled with feelings of shame; certainly it must be irreverent or disrespectful to say those kinds of things to God, right? But I've found more and more, especially over the past year, that life is really a journey, and God is so intimately with me on it, that NOTHING I can say will drive Him away. It's like when I've had a crappy day, and I back the truck up and dump it on Todd. On a good day, he will know that it's not him I'm railing against, it's the situation, and he can let me dump, and then hold me at the end til I'm all cried out. And God is infinitely more secure than my dear husband, so He can certainly endure my tirade and still remain unchanging and steadfast in His love. What does that verse in Romans say?

Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And I think I will add "neither complaining or frustration" will be able to separate me from the love of God!

Hang in there my fellow frustrated ones. When there's nothing left, there's Him, and really, that's all we need. I know that sounds trite, but I think until I fully realize that NOTHING of this world will satisfy, He will have to keep stripping things away until I come to the realization that there is "only ONE thing that is needed."

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I am alone,
When I am alone,
When I am alone,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I come to die,
When I come to die,
When I come to die,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

"Give Me Jesus" - lyrics by Fanny Jane Crosby